TNG Caption This! 270: Hanging out in the Alpha Quadrant

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Jun 16, 2012.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    The Normandy SR-2
    Happy Saturday, Everyone! Lets get on with our winners!


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Proper Planning" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Here we go again.." Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Complex Competition" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Cause of Death" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Regrets of the Day After" Award, going to:

    Our Photoshop Award goes to:

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    Thanks to everyone who participated and congratulations to our winners!

    Now, lets get things moving again...

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    The Normandy SR-2
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    Picard: Out of my chair, Number One. The real Captain is back.

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    Riker: Your analysis, Geordi?

    La Forge: It's dirt.

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    Worf: Are you serious? You're a highly advanced Android, and you're camping in online Multiplayer?

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    Crusher: Yes, you are in pain.

    Troi: Told you.

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    Picard: I plan to extort Admiral Nechayev with these photos. What do you think, Number One? Number One?
     
  3. Admiral Bear

    Admiral Bear Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2005
    Location:
    Permanent away mission with the fairies
    Riker: Nechayev and Shelby? That's just so wrong. Nice tits though.
     
  4. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2004
    Location:
    shivkala
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    Riker silently cursed under his breath. Another 30 seconds and he would have gotten away with putting the whoopie cushion on Picard's chair without being caught.

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    Riker: Well, looks like we better get to work. Get the hoe, Geordi.
    LaForge: Sir! I know Troi is resistant to getting back together with you, but, I think calling her a "ho" is uncalled for!

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    Though very un-Klingon, Worf did enjoy the practice of office gossip.

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    Crusher: The tricorder confirms it, unfortunately, I cannot allow you to get your driver's license, your eyesight is too poor.
    Troi: Please, please, can't you just ignore the scans and okay my license?
    Crusher: Oh, what the hell, I mean you're just a counselor, what's the harm in letting you get your driver's license. It's not like you'll ever get the chance to drive the ship. I mean, what's the worst that could happen, anyway?
     
  5. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

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    Crusher: "Your sex hormone levels are definitely highly elevated, but I can find no underlying pharmacological or pathological cause. Maybe you're just naturally slutty."


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    Picard: "Admiral Hanson in a grass skirt and coconut bra. Isn't that the damnedest thing you ever saw?"
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2012
  6. Shon T'Hara

    Shon T'Hara Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2010
    Geordi: There's no doubt about it, Commander, it's the Borg.
    Riker: What would the Borg want with an ant colony?

    Picard: It would seem Mr. Crusher has converted the main computer into an Internet porn site.

    Riker: I'll have a talk with him at once.

    Picard: No hurry, Number One. You should check out the video Barclay uploaded of his night in Councilor Troi's quarters. I've never seen a chocolate parfait put to such use.
     
  7. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
    Thanks for the win LeadHead!

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    Picard: Number One, get the hell off of my chair! You always ruin its bum groove!

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    Geordi: Nothing much left of Wesley I'd say commander...
    Riker: Poor chap, on a cloudless day a bolt of lightening just happens to incinerate him right here.

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    Data: Mr Worf I do believe you're hacking COD 370 to try to beat me.
    Geordi: Yeah Worf play fair!

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    Troi: What are you scanning for?
    Beverly: You're virginity, according to this tricorder it tells me you're still single!

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    Picard: Number One, as we're the two most senior officers on the Enterprise, I can permit you to watch the footage of the various spy cams I've fitted all over the ship.
    Riker: Woah! Didn't realise Beverly did that!
    Picard: Indeed... Poor woman really needs a man.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2012
  8. Herkimer Jitty

    Herkimer Jitty Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Dayglow, New California Republic
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    Riker: "Fire!?"

    Picard: "That's enough of that. On my ship, we give orders with a period."

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    LaForge: "Confirmed, sir. This smoking crater is all that remains of Ron Jones."

    Riker: [Long, drawn-out sigh] "Get me Dennis McCarthy."

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    Worf: "Worst. LAN party. Ever."

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    Beverly: "It says you're in pain."

    Troi: "Damn technology, always putting me out of a job."

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    Riker: "'Two Crystalline Entities, One Graviton Pulse', you say?"
     
  9. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    TROI: When did you have the time to be come "Space Pope"?

    CRUSHER: Season Two.
     
  10. Merlanthe

    Merlanthe Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2012
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    CRUSHER: Ha, ha, got your nose!
     
  11. Gil T.Azell

    Gil T.Azell Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2005
    Location:
    Gil T.Azell
    Dang you beat me to the Wesley Burn
    Mine would have gone
    Riker: "Geordi what is it?"

    La Forge:"It's Wesley sir".

    Riker: Begings grinning like a Cheshire cat

    Anyhow thanks for the win.
     
  12. Skywalker

    Skywalker Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2005
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    Picard: "Damn it, Number One! You're in my spot!"
    Riker: "You can't sit somewhere else?"
    Data: "Respectfully, sir, he cannot. You see, the middle chair is close enough to the heating vent so that the captain remains warm, yet not so close that he sweats. It is also directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by activating cooling fans there and there. It faces the viewscreen at an angle that is not direct, so he can still talk to everybody, yet not so wide that the picture looks distorted."
    Picard: "Mister Data, perhaps there's hope for you yet."
     
  13. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
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    Picard: Look at that bit of carpet there, completely filthy! We've really got to stop letting the ship clean itself.

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    Geordi: It's the French toilet the Captain requested.

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    Geordi: So Worf, what is your job anyway?

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    Crusher: Subject's mind... completely empty.

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    Picard:... And that's what you'll look like by the time you make Captain.
     
  14. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    TFTW, LeadHead. :)

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    Picard: "Will, you've got to learn how to think better on your feet. This is the third Zumba clahss I've missed this month."



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    Riker: "You will visit an exciting new place."

    <brief pause>

    Riker: "Well, it seems like they've come up with a cookie that can do what a ship's counselor does, only for a lot cheaper."



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    Geordi: "He's making goo-goo eyes at me."

    Data: "No, I believe you are incorrect. He is making goo-goo eyes at me."



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    Crusher: "This is shedding absolutely no light on your empathic abilities, but I found my lost locker key."



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    Picard: "No, Will, you just look like you can't hear. If you want your own command any time soon, you really need to develop a pose with more gravitas."
     
  15. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Picard: "Clear out, losers! The 'A' teams back!"
     
  16. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    RIKER: Wasn't that model a different ship when I walked in?

    PICARD: I don't think so.
     
  17. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
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    Riker: A hundred ways to avoid woman when as a Starfleet captain... Hmm... Perhaps I'll stick with my position as first officer!
     
  18. Captain Crow

    Captain Crow Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2009
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    Riker: A taxidermied targ turned into a quadcopter?

    Picard: Yup. They call it Helitarg.
     
  19. TrickyDickie

    TrickyDickie Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2003
    Location:
    In a painting, darkly.
    Thanks for the win a couple of contests back....been busy trying to straighten out college and missed a few. :borg:

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    Riker: "I'm in the doghouse with Deanna and I don't know what to do."

    Picard: "Here, give her this Hershey's Special Dark bar. Chocolate....never forget the basics, Number One."
     
  20. TrickyDickie

    TrickyDickie Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2003
    Location:
    In a painting, darkly.
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    LaForge: "Archer was here before us, Commander."

    Riker: "Yeah, we come all this way only to find....beagle shit."