"I, Mudd" Line-by-Line!

Alice 118: What are they celebrating?

 

Kirk:Their captivity. Do you enjoy the music?

 

Alice 118: Music?

 

Alice 2: Music?

Badges start flashing

 

(McCoy and Scotty stop pretending to play instruments and Chekov and Uhura stop dancing)

Chekov: (bows toward McCoy and Scotty) Thank you, gentlemen. (turns and bows toward Uhura) Thank you, lovely lady. You dance divinely.

 

Uhura: Thank you, kind sir.

Uhura slaps Chekov and he falls to the ground.

 

Alice 2: Why does she strike him?

 

Kirk: She likes him. Mister Chekov. The floor is no place for an officer. Attention! Now stand absolutely still.

 

Chekov (standing absolutely still at attention) Yes, Captain! (Chekov then puts his left hand over his head and begins jumping up and down in place in an old Cossack dance yelling something sounding like ''hey'' repeatedly as the others clap and chant along with him)

 

Kirk: That's much better, Mister Chekov.

 

Alice 118: It is illogical.

 

Kirk: Your statement is illogical.

 

The badges glow in a continual light, McCoy walks over with his tri corset scanning them

Scotty: How does it look?

 

McCoy: Completely inner directed. Oblivious to everything.

 

Kirk: Good. I wonder how Spock's doing.

 

Spock: Of course. Your computations would inevitably lead to a total description of the parabolic intersection of dimension with dimension

 

Alice 27: Mister Spock, you have a remarkably logical and analytical mind.

 

Spock: Thank you.

(Spock then tries a neck pinch on Alice 210 and all she does is move her neck toward him)

 

ALICE 210: Is there some significance to this action?

 

(Spock turns away briefly thinking, then turns back to Alice 27)

Spock: I love you. (turns to Alice 210) However, I hate you.