TNG Caption This! #352: Time Capsule: Part 3

``Somebody tell that stupid kid and his stuffed tiger he's got like three pages of arithmetic homework!''

 

Geordi: (sigh) No, DaiMon, I DON'T have any Grey Poupon!!!

 

Picard to Bridge. What did we let Counsellor Troi pilot this time?


Troi (os): Those stealing harpies! They've been in my closet!


Crusher: Mmmm! Ohh! Ohh...yes! YES! (panting, sweating) That was amazing.
Picard (os): Beverly, hurry up, it's my shot next!


Lal: Get out of my pub, you lecherous, smug cheapskate! And if I ever catch in here again, I will rip your testicles off and ram them so far up your digestive track you will be picking pubes off of your tonsils. Is that correct, Guinan?
Guinan: That'll do, Lal. That'll do.

 

**


Captain's Log: "A full week of the replicator producing only burritos is beginning to have alarming effects upon the crew.

 

Captain's log: Routine plasma venting always makes me nostalgic for the Nexus....... *Memories... In the corners of my mind... Dusty watercolored
Memories... Of the way we were*...

 

TFTKBL Leadhead!




Well I finally made the last payment on my Captain's yacht, and it's all mi - of course.




Babe 1: Ever have a reverse Oreo?
Babe 2: We've been looking for a real man to satisfy our voracious alien needs; preferably one skilled with - hey, are you listening to me?
Worf: A reverse Oreo. What a cunning snack!




Wesley: Sorry Mom, if there's nothing wrong with my desire to put your nursing staff in lycra skants, there must be something wrong with the universe.
<slap>
Wesley: Worth a shot.




Ferengi: Hey Hoo-man! Is that a shuttle or are you on your way to a science fair with an iguana terrarium?




LAL: If these are not the beer taps, then why is beer coming out of them?
Riker: Little help!

 

BURTON: Instead of hiring the predator and the dude from Police Academy, you could have spent the budget on our shuttle. What's next? An Hollywood production with an holodeck moment instead of a space battle?

 

Blonde: Is it true that Klingons have two of every vital organ?

Brunette: Yeah... Is it true?

 

Riker (through intercom speaker): "That was a close one, Captain! But we got lucky. No physical damage to the ship. We took a pretty good radiation bath, but everyone should be okay unless they were standing right next to a window."
Picard: "...Say that again?"




Beverly: "By the way, Wesley, I had a little chat with Nurse Ogawa over lunch today."
* SMACK!! *

 

Beverly: "If I told you once I've told you 1,000 times STOP!, watching that Orion pr0n channel."





Worf: "Ladies, I'd break you..."

 

PICARD: Bridge, what's the cause of this explosion?
BRIDGE OFFICER (o/s): We didn't start the fire. It was always burning, since the world was turning.
PICARD: Understood. Engage engines; let's get out of here.
BRIDGE OFFICER (o/s): When we're gone, it'll burn on and on and on.





BLONDE: What's the deal with your forehead?
WORF: It's ribbed, for pleasure.





WIL WHEATON: Again. Harder.





GEORDI: Bitch, I only race for slips.





GUINAN: Oh no, not in here. You want to do that, I have a room out back for $10 an hour.

 

Worf: I'm sorry. Sluts aren't my type

 

WORF: Why does your friend have an adam's apple?

 

FALFA
Hey man, I'm sorry if I scared ya!

LAFORGE
You're gonna hafta do one hell of a lot more than that to scare me!

FALFA
Hey I've been lookin' all over for ya man. Didn't nobody tell ya I was lookin' for ya?

LAFORGE
Man, I can't keep track of all you punks runnin' 'round here backwards.

FALFA
Hey you're s'posed to be the fastest thing in the Valley man, but that can't be your car. It must be your mama's car! I'm sorta' embarrassed to be this close to ya!

LAFORGE
Yeah, well I'm not surprised, drivin' a field car!

FALFA
Field car? What's a field car?

LAFORGE
A field car runs through the fields, droppin' cow shit all over the place to make the lettuce grow

 

Ferengi: Hey Hoo-mon! How many donuts does your to go box hold?

 

Captain's log: Acting Ensign Crusher's hand to hand combat training has yielded less than impressive results



Guinan: Maybe we should introduce you to Worf instead

 

Guinan: Cancel the slippery nipple, the Captain wants Harvey Wallbanger.
Riker: Little help!

 

Geordi: Ok... got in pod, put on visual recorder, flew through wormhole. Next on the checklist is see Pensacola and meet my father??

 

Picard: Hmm, it's getting a bit toasty in here. Computer! Tea, Earl Grey...iced.