TNG Caption This #163 - 'Not of the canon'

PICARD: I didnt think you could do that in zero g.

TROI: Riker didn't either.

 

Picard: "I love this show."

Troi: "Um... Captain."

Picard: "It's called Star Trek: The Next Generation"

Troi: "Captain, that's a mirror.

Picard: "You mean... ?"

Troi: "Yes... you have a date with Wesley tonight, so it's time to put on your assless chaps."


.

 

Picard: "Frankly, what your mother and I choose to do in the privacy of our own sex dungeon is none of your business."

 

Picard: "I've been tracing Wesley's family tree. Did you know that his great-great-grandfather was Hikaru Sulu?"

Troi: "No... but that would explain a lot of things."

Picard: "Indeed."


.

 

PICARD:"Why didn't you ever TELL ME your mother made scheisse videos when she was younger?!"

 

KIRK:"You're good...not the best.

But the head ridges more than make up for your lack of reacharound technique."

 

Excedrine headache #76: when your sterotypical Russian parents visit.

 

On Soviet Starfleet wessel, mirror vatches YOU!!!


VAT a Federation!!

 

PICARD:"Look here, Counselor...

This was my first-ever slash fic story. Won two awards for it!"

 

`


Picard: "She looks twenty years older than you, but her boobs are much bigger."
<Troi slaps him on the back of the head.>

 

I've been here for an hour and I still can't find the "any" key.
<Troi slaps him on the back of the head.>

 

Picard: "I'm starting a blog."
<Troi slaps him on the back of the head.>



Picard: "... so there's no way Khan could have know Chekov, and ..."
<Troi slaps him on the back of the head.>



Stewart: "... and it's another version of Data, so we take a dunebuggy and ..."
<Sirtis slaps him on the back of the head.>

 

Picard: ...and I want all crew to attend Captain Picard Day -
Troi: Mm-hmm.
Picard: - wearing full Mardis Gras regalia -
Troi: Mm-hmm.
Picard: - and all senior staff must work a double shift with no pants on -
Troi: Mm-hmm.
Picard: - and get these orders out to the crew right away -
Troi: Mm-hmm.
Picard: - along with the other fifteen amendments to the Starfleet Charter -
Troi: Mm-hmm.
Picard: - and thank you, Counselor.
Troi: Mm-hmm.
Picard: Oh, and tug Commander Riker's beard whenever you enter the bridge.
Troi: Mm-hmm.
Picard: - and give Dr Crusher a little squeeze whenever she's harping at me.
<Troi slaps him on the back of the head.>

 

<Troi slaps him on the back of the head.>
Picard: "But I didn't say anything!"
Troi: "No reason, The Laughing Vulcan was feeling left out."

 

Picard: See there. Commander Riker has changed his facebook status to "in a relationship and it's complicated."
Troi: Well, it's not me.
Picard: Of course not.

 

Picard: "Wikipedia says ..."
<Troi slaps him on the back of the head.>





Picard: "This contest has you, somehow thinner and better looking, with Commandah Rikah with his head in your lap. What they have you saying is ... <buries face in hands>."
Troi: "I've seen it."

 

Troi: Now click on "file", "New Tab" -
Picard: Which file?
Troi: The word file. Then "New Tab" -
Picard: It's not working!
Troi: You have to release the button -
Picard: Oh blast! Why does it keep beeping?
Troi: Stop clicking it! First you have to escape the pop up box.
Picard: Nothing's happening! Hello? Computer? Compuuuuter??
Troi <taps communicator>: Troi to Commander Data. Would you come to the Captain's quarters, please? I have a job uniquely suited to your talents.
Data: Sorry Counselor, I'd rather walk through a half million amp arc of electricity and have Commander Riker remove my head again.

 

PICARD: And you look to be some sort of bull dyke prison guard.

 

"See, Counselor?

The online poll DOES agree with me...the way you looked in 'TATV' is nothing like the way you appear in 'The Pegasus.' Stop pretending! "

 

WORF:"But...Mother!! FATHER!!


I swear it happened!! The witch in the mirror talked to me!!"