I think the transporters are broken

I just finished watching that.

Thanks.

Thanks bunches.

 

I really think there should have been more experimentation. We saw more WTF successes than we did horrifying lumps of failure. Weird ass blended dogs. Tuvix. Doubled up Riker (okay maybe I should include that in the horrifying lumps). Strange DNA attaching itself to people DNA and giving conditions.

I think there are Section 31 labs as well as private sector labs playing molecule finger paints with animals and who knows what else. I bet they have been doing it for centuries and I bet they have created all kinds of amazing chimeras.

 

Like... Manbearpig?

 

I'm thinking maybe Mansehlattarg.

That'd be heaps vicious. And smart.

And it could withstand all kind of harsh conditions, you could have an army of them taking over Vulcan, slaughtering everything that moved.

 

What if Porthos after suffering the transporter accident has somehow rematerialized as John Harrison. Only he is also now lactose intolerant. And his dog/human DNA gives him powers.

So he's back to have his vengeance for not being able to eat his favorite cheese snacks again.

 

What is the most iconic thing created by all of Star Trek? The transporters.

What doesn't appear once in any of the released material? A transporter effect. Why would they hold off showing that? People love transporters. The only conclusion is that there are no transporters in this movie.

And no one has explain Spock skydiving to Earth yet.

 

Because he isn't seen doing that in the trailer?

 

I adore them.

You know how you can watch youtubes about how to slow cook stuff in your car engine? Wrapped in foil? While you are driving?

I bet in the future there's all kind of madcap cooking experiments going on with transporters. You get a suckling pig and you transport it INTO a volcano for .04 seconds and wow, you are now eating roast pork cooked in the depths of the fiery heart of Pele. Or other cool places.

 

Whatever the result of that, "cooked" is unlikely to be the correct verb.

 

It's like those fried turkey deals, only much more instant. Seals in the juices.

 

The transporters work fine. Porthos reappears in one of the comic book stories. And JJ Abrams is fully on board for cool scenes. "Turn on, tune in, drop out".

 

Drop it into Kilauea and *BOOM* you got a new way of doing luaus.

 

"Flash fried in... THE SUN!"