The Chains of Error - Gibraltar/Full Speed Ahead Crossover

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Gibraltar, Mar 23, 2009.

  1. Gibraltar

    Gibraltar Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Michael D. Garcia and I have been working on a crossover adventure.

    The prologue and first chapter of The Chains of Error are now up at Ad Astra. Due to mature themes in the story, it's being rated equivalent to NC-17.

    Here is the link: http://adastra.shadowknightonline.com/viewstory.php?sid=232

    Please feel free to post feedback either here, or at Ad Astra... or both. :)
     
  2. Zefram_Cochrane

    Zefram_Cochrane First Faster Than Light Premium Member

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    Yeah, it has Ariel in it, so you should be warned as to the content. :)

    [​IMG]


    -- ZC
     
  3. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I'm very sorry to be missing a Gibraltar story. :( I would ordinarily be very happy to read, but I'm not so keen on NC-17 type stuff. Is there going to be a "clean" version of this, like I've seen with some of ZC's other work, or no?
     
  4. Zefram_Cochrane

    Zefram_Cochrane First Faster Than Light Premium Member

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    I know of no 'clean' version of my works. :) Is someone Bowlderizing my stuff and I don't know about it?

    For the record, so far, there's nothing NC-17 about the story. Just hints.

    -- ZC
     
  5. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Well, what I've seen you do is sometimes "compartmentalize" the really racy scenes/chapters, so people can skip past them. That's kinda what I meant. Might there be a version of this available with a "skip" button in the right places?
     
  6. Zefram_Cochrane

    Zefram_Cochrane First Faster Than Light Premium Member

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    Oh! Well, I don't see why not, but I'm collaborating with Sam on this, so it's going to come down to style. As the story proceeds though, I'm sure we'll make it clear which chapter sections you can skip.

    -- ZC
     
  7. CeJay

    CeJay Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    I'm not usually a big fan of hard ratings either but you know you gotta make an exception when reading Full Steam ... er Full Speed Ahead.

    I don't know how far you guys are going to push this but so far I'd say this isn't that bad. There are penty of implications but nothing overly graphic or obscenly descriptive. Again, I don't know far you will push the envelope down the road. The rating may just me cautionary.

    As for me, I guess I finally have to get off my lazy behind and get myself an Ad Astra account.

    But you already get a big :techman: from me!

    Also. Very impressive cover art.
     
  8. TrekkieMonster

    TrekkieMonster Commodore Commodore

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    Wow, very nicely done. I spent the weekend catching up on the tales of Leone and Ellanis (and Jesse Kincaid) aboard the Farragut, and have enjoyed this look into their futures, as well as the glimpse into Sandhurst's past.

    A great and compelling beginning here, leaving me drooling for more already ... as usual. Another big thumbs up (though, where Ellanis is concerned, I'm wondering if a different appendage would be a more appropriate demonstration of approval.) :evil:

    EDIT to add something I've been thinking about all weekend.

    So, first of all, I wanted to say that, among other things, I really liked the holodeck scene. It was a great "fake out" for the reader, and did a good job of demonstrating just how powerful Ellanis' "powers of persuasion" are. It also brought to mind something I've been struggling with (for lack of a better word) while reading the Farragut stories over the weekend. I go back and forth between thinking Ellanis is "whoring herself" (as has been mentioned by characters in the stories) and thinking that, by the 24th century, maybe sexual hangups will (hopefully and finally) be gone. So, for her to use her particular "gifts" in service of the cause would be no different than a natural athlete using his or her strength and agility, or a mathematical genius using his or her particular skills. But, the typical reaction of the characters around her would seem to belie this idea.

    I guess it's more of an observation (or "musing") than anything, but I'm a little curious whether either author (Ellanis' creator, in particular, I suppose) has a view on this idea.

    [linda richmond]I've given you a twopic; discuss[/linda richmond] ;)
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2009
  9. Gibraltar

    Gibraltar Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Well, I may be speaking out of turn, as Elannis is Mike's character, but I'll give you my viewpoint on the situation. I don't think you're off base in your assessment of where social mores may be in the late 24th century. Certainly, Starfleet Command hasn't seen fit to seek disciplinary action against Ariel for any of her earlier sexploits aboard Farragut, specifically those in which her abilities were employed to further a diplomatic agenda.

    In those cases, the people who fell under Ariel's powers of persuasion were fully aware of her abilities and elected to merely hang on and enjoy the ride, for want of a more delicate phrase.

    The difference with her arrival aboard Gibraltar is that she's apparently either unwilling or unable to turn this ability off. Given Sandhurst's troubled recent history, he's naturally paranoid about being manipulated by others, and having his freedom of choice usurped by someone with an ulterior motive.

    Diaz's obvious lack of consent in regards to Ariel's abilities also offends the crew's moral compass (and rightfully so, in my opinion). Remember, there are still some rather prudish people in Starfleet, as we've seen demonstrated in people's reactions to Captain Shelby's exploits in David Falkayn's Sutherland series. However, even Shelby's more outrageous behavior is tolerated because all the parties involved are adults and nobody's getting hurt.

    Where Ariel is concerned, that's not always the case.

    FYI, on a completely unrelated topic, anyone interested in the back story between Sandhurst and the former Captain Diaz should read DarKush's excellent story, The Crucible. http://www.unitedtrek.org/Dark Territory/crucible.htm
     
  10. Zefram_Cochrane

    Zefram_Cochrane First Faster Than Light Premium Member

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    Freudian slip, eh, CeJay? :)

    I plan for at least one graphic scene. I won't say with whom, but yes, Ariel will be in it. See: Act Four of The Better Part of Valor. I can promise it will not be gratuitous and it will be Quite Revealing about Ariel and her current status with Starfleet and Leone in particular.

    Yes! We need more UT authors over there!

    Thanks, yeah... I did that one, but SLWatson is going to take my renders and do a much better job. :) I'm looking forward to seeing a pro do our cover for us. :)

    -- ZC
     
  11. SLWalker

    SLWalker The OG Scotty Fangirl Premium Member

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    Come on in, the water's fine!
     
  12. Zefram_Cochrane

    Zefram_Cochrane First Faster Than Light Premium Member

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    The short answer is that Krystine Leone is the type of person that knows how to get the best work from talented people, much like her mother did before her.

    In Damn the Torpedoes! II, we get to see how she manipulates the situation and you're not that far off from it being a simple request of someone who has major talent in one area or another. Obviously, Ariel's not the Chief Seduction Officer, but being half-Orion and trained in the art of seduction by her mother, she has a skill-set that Leone knows how to utilize to the benefit of the mission. And no, she has no hang-ups about using Ariel as such, and Ariel being who she is and how she feels about Leone, would do anything for her. Whether or not you read that as taking advantage of someone or not, is entirely up to you.

    I first wrote Ariel Elannis in 1988, shortly after the mid-season hiatus of Star Trek: The Next Generation's first season. Back then, she was actually an Angelite (from the episode "Angel One"), who escaped the planet and joined Starfleet shortly after Enterprise's visit. She was the Transporter Chief of the Galaxy-class USS Farragut (Nebula's hadn't been introduced, yet), not a commissioned officer. She was also kind of a different character, too; much like Data was learning about humanity aboard the Enterprise, in the first four novels she was the same. Looking at Federation culture through the eyes of a female-dominated society.

    When I started FSA, I reimagined her as this sexpot officer for the purposes of demonstrating that maybe human culture has advanced significantly enough to where this might be far more acceptable. And it's up to the individual officer to draw that line. Krystine wouldn't ever ask Kincaid to go sex up someone, because she doesn't know him that well and wouldn't feel it appropriate to his rank/position. Or Petra or Greg or Abbie, for that matter. Ariel's her best friend and they've served together over a decade, so they know each other well enough to know what's out-of-bounds (and with Ariel, that's pretty much nothing).

    -- ZC
     
  13. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Excellent beginning. I have reviewed the individual parts at Ad Astra.
     
  14. DavidFalkayn

    DavidFalkayn Commodore Commodore

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    Well...in some ways I see Ariel in a similar manner to my interpretation of Liz Shelby. They're both hedonists--although Ariel is a bit more willing to use her body to fulfill an agenda rather than Liz--Liz's hedonism stems more from her loneliness and the emptiness it brings combined with her estrangement from her father (her many 'daddy' issues), along with a simple "I just want to have fun" attitude concerning sex. As Gibraltar points out, Liz's "adventures" involves consenting adults, while in Ariel's case, the individuals involved aren't necessarily consenting as we saw.

    Very well done. I guess I'm going to have to get myself in gear and get an Ad Astra account as well. Also, Michael, how're things going with the conversion of the UT site to Wordpress MU?
     
  15. Zefram_Cochrane

    Zefram_Cochrane First Faster Than Light Premium Member

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    I'm waiting for everyone to sign off on it. :) And then I can start doing a mass import.

    -- ZC
     
  16. Zefram_Cochrane

    Zefram_Cochrane First Faster Than Light Premium Member

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    Ariel's got fulfillment issues as well, as my readers should know by now. :)

    -- ZC
     
  17. DavidFalkayn

    DavidFalkayn Commodore Commodore

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    She most definitely does...
     
  18. TrekkieMonster

    TrekkieMonster Commodore Commodore

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    Gentlemen,

    thanks for your very thoughtful and enlightening responses. I'm glad to see it seems like I was at least partially "getting it." Z (can I call you "Z"? :p ), I really found that bit of back story about Elannis' creation interesting (by the way, my apologies for misspelling her name; Gibraltar can tell you I added an entire syllable to Lar'ragos' name for the longest time. :o But, I get it right ... eventually.)

    I also noted the similarity with DarKush's portrayal of Shelby. And, Gibraltar, you hit the nail on the head for me when you explained the difference here was the lack of consent. That actually made perfect sense to me. Well, that and the acknowledgement that, even in the 24th century, there will be the occasional prude. ;)

    Thanks again all for the insights. Can't wait for the next installment. :techman:

    p.s. -- Also, thanks for the reference to The Crucible. I knew the Diaz-Sandhurst thing was familiar from somewhere, but I couldn't put my finger on it until then.
     
  19. Zefram_Cochrane

    Zefram_Cochrane First Faster Than Light Premium Member

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    Heh, Trekkie, now I'm curious as to what you thought of Ariel's performance in The Better Part of Valor. :)

    -- ZC
     
  20. DavidFalkayn

    DavidFalkayn Commodore Commodore

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    Ummm...TrekkieMonster...the portrayal of Liz Shelby that you see in the United Trek stories is mine, not DarKush's... :)