TNG Caption This! 338: I accidentally skipped #337

Riker: Isn't throwing furniture a prelude to lovemaking in Klingon culture?

 

Beverly: In the future, Jean Luc, you can make sure you're letting a real doctor give you a colonoscopy by checking the crew roster. Also, there are no sporocystian life forms in Starfleet.

Picard: I knew there was something off about his giggling!

 

TFTW!





GEORDI: What... this can't be right!
TROI: It's your fault, Will. I knew I shouldn't have let you do that to me. That's why I'm on the wrong list.
RIKER: You enjoyed it at the time, didn't you?
DATA: It appears I'm the only one on Santa's "Nice" List yet again.





DATA: I must refine my flower-arranging subroutine.





RIKER: So, do we break up the fight or start taking bets?





PICARD: Wrong century, wrong Enterprise, sorry shadowy future fellow.





PICARD: Noooo... I fell asleep and missed him again!
CRUSHER: I'm sure you'll see him next year, Jean-Luc. But look, he drank the brandy, ate the mince pie, and left you lots of presents!

 

Picard: Hey guys, don't you think it would be better inside the Enterprise if there were a lot of these unknown plants everywhere?
Data: Sir, It is called Citrus bergamia.
Worf: Doctor Crusher warned us that you will try to bypass the replicator restriction for Earl Grey.

 

Picard: "Oh, this? Well, Vash and I are going camping on Celtris IV next month. As you probably know, the ragweed on Celtris IV is extraordinarily potent. I figured I'd better start building up my tolerance early."
LaForge: "Ah, the things we do for love!"
Worf (snorts): "Yeah, right. 'Love.'"

 

Geordi: According to my visor reading of the chair and the history folder, someone use this station to listen Fifty Shades of Grey read by Gilbert Gottfried...oh and I see a lot of chocolate on this panel.

 

GEORDIE: I had "non corporeal life form bent on conquest" in the pool. Pay up.

 

RIKER: "Oh, god, he's pretending his hand is a puppet again."

 

TFTW! It's just what I wanted for Christmas!



While the majority of the crew responded with shock and/or confusion, only Data was intrigued by Picard's nude selfie.



Picard: I've called you three here, because you're the ones closest to Mr. O'Brien. Listen, we all like the guy and none of us want to upset him, but I ordered these flowers for Bev, um, that it is someone I wanted to take for a beverage in Ten-Forward, look that's not important now. What I mean to say is, someone needs to tell Miles that if this is the best she can do, Keiko is a piss-poor botanist!



Frakes: What the Hell is this?

Dorn: Apparently, they've hired the fight choreographers from Babylon 5 for this episode.



Picard: Captain's Log: Data is close to introducing us to his "daughter," what will, perhaps prove to be the greatest advancement in cybernetic development since Dr. Soong created Data, himself. The crew and even Starfleet is teeming with questions: If an android can create another android, does that make the first android a god? Will this spell the end of human beings exploring space, when we can just send out some androids? Do androids have a soul? Is it ethical to allow Mr. Data to create another android? What if his "daughter" ends up like Lore, his brother? However, I, personally, am most interested to learn the answer to a question my first officer, Commander Riker, asked, "Is she hot?"



Drunk Picard: I know I don't act like it, but I actually do like Wesley. Oh, God, don't tell the crew that! I can see it now, tons of NAMBLA jokes. I mean, the rest of the crew, they hate him. Hate him! It's not his fault he's a big dork! I get that! I used to be like that! Jack, he'd be turning over in his grave if he saw Wesley. Wesley is nothing like Jack, really, he's more like me...Oh my God, is Wesley my...

Crusher: ...and a little of my special mixture of a sedative mixed with "Forget Me Now," a memory erasing agent I found in a blog post from the Alliance of Magicians should take care of the Captain.

 

Picard: Don't look in the box under my bed.

 

Data: Not only is your tactic of questionable value in our standoff with three Romulan warbirds, sir, but the Starfleet database has no record of anything called "the Boothby Maneuver."

 

DATA: Careful, Captain. The Botany Department warns that this planet's flora has psychotropic properties.

 

New Contest!