Hello, boys, girls, androgynous, and transgendered children. Today we're going to read a story about Starfleet, and a contest between two Starfleet captains. Is everyone sitting comfortably? Good, then let's begin. * * * * * * * * * * * * * See the space station. The space station is called Gateway. It is very large. It is in the Gateway Sector. The Gateway Sector is a long way from Federation space. Docked at the Gateway station are two starships. One of these starships is the USS Challenger. The USS Challenger is very sleek, and looks sort of like a bird. The Gateway station is the USS Challenger's home base. The other starship is the USS Coventry. The USS Coventry looks like a famous old starship, but it is actually new. The USS Coventry is visiting the Gateway station. Why is the USS Coventry visiting the Gateway station? Because near the Gateway station is a large asteroid field. Asteroids are giant rocks in space. These rocks are sometimes used as targets. This is why the USS Coventry is here. The USS Coventry and the USS Challenger are going to have a contest. They are going to shoot photon torpedoes at the asteroids. Each ship is testing a new torpedo targeting system. The ship that shoots better will score the most points, and win the contest. The USS Coventry goes first. The crew of the USS Coventry is skilled, and they don't miss a shot. They get a perfect score. The USS Challenger goes next. The crew of the USS Challenger is also skilled, but half of their shots miss. They lose the contest. After the contest, the captain of the USS Coventry and the captain of the USS Challenger have a briefing with Admiral Durham. Admiral Durham is a very important Starfleet officer. All three men are in Admiral Durham's office. The captain of the USS Coventry is John Perceval. He is very handsome. He is a famous Starfleet captain. Captain Perceval makes fun of the USS Challenger because they lost. Captain Perceval is not a good winner. The captain of the USS Challenger is Gabriel Frost. He is not as handsome as Captain Perceval, and he is not famous. Captain Frost doesn't like that Captain Perceval is making fun of him. Captain Frost kicks Captain Perceval in the nuts. Captain Frost is a sore loser Admiral Durham yells at Captain Frost for kicking Captain Perceval in the nuts. He is going to punish Captain Frost. But then, Ensign Lynch knocks on the door. Ensign Lynch works on the Gateway station. He says he has some sensor data that Admiral Durham should see. Admiral Durham takes the PADD that Ensign Lynch brought with him. It has data from Gateway station's powerful sensors. The sensors help Gateway station gather information. This time, the sensors show that Captain Perceval hid trans-spectral phase shift inducers in the asteroids. The trans-spectral phase shift inducers put out an invisible energy field. The invisible energy field put out by the trans-spectral phase shift inducers gave false information to the torpedoes fired by USS Challenger. This false information made the torpedoes miss their targets. Admiral Durham is mad. He is mad because a lot of work was done on the targeting systems that the USS Coventry and USS Challenger were testing. He is mad because the targeting systems were disrupted by the trans-spectral phase shift inducers. He is mad because the trans-spectral phase inducers are very old technology, but the targeting systems are very new and special technology. And he is mad because Captain Perceval cheated. Starfleet officers should play fair. Admiral Durham tells Captain Perceval to get in his ship and go home. Admiral Durham is still mad at Captain Frost for kicking Captain Perceval in the nuts. And everyone is sad because nobody won the contest. * * * * * * * * * * * * * Well, boys, girls, androgynous, and transgendered children, that's the end of the story. Do you see why it's important to play fair and not cheat? Good, I'm glad that you do. Good night, boys, girls, androgynous, and transgendered children. Sleep well.
... and they were all tucked into their little regenerative beds as their mothers, fathers, cogenitors, significant others, etc. all watched and smiled, raised an eyebrow, looked blankly or otherwise registered approval. Nicely done.
Cute, cheesy, amusing--and all in a good way! Excellently done, my friend. It certainly put a smile on my face. (Especially the lines about kicking the guy in the--how did this T'Aesop get away with using such...choice words--around kids! Ah, well...as they remember it--the best--bedtime story--EVER!!! )
I loved it. Great idea, and nicely done. It is a somewhat inappropriate story for children, I guess, but the part where Captain Perceval was kicked in the nuts made me laugh out loud.