ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.

Hoshi: I'm sick of watching my nose hairs grow. I should have brought a back massager. T'Pol -
T'Pol: Get your own.



T'Pol: Stop forwarding me email.

 

T'POL: "T'Pol", is a very common Vulcan name. That is not my profile on VulcanSingles.com.

 

Phlox: Amazing, Lieutenant. Had you not shown me I never would have believed you could paint T'Pol in the nude with tobacco spit.

Mayweather: Epic knockers.




That Vulcan ketsunoana. I don't have a Fu Manchu! I bet she has never even seen a Tarantino movie, for that matter!




Captain, thank you for refraining from your usual soapy activities for the night.

No problem, Commander. I left all my floaty boats in my quarters.




Hoshi: I'd ask you what you're thinking but then they'd have to pay you for a speaking role.




Trip: Must be jelly cause jam don't shake like that!

T'Pol: Just for that I'll string him along for a few years then marry a Vulcan.

 

Billinglsey: "Why do I have to be the blurry one?"
Montgomery: "At least you get a line in this episode."
Keating: "Who said that?"

 

Archer: what's up with Malcolm?
Phlox: he's got a case of numb tongue at the moment captain.



Hoshi: I'm Hoshi Sato and that was six o clock enterprise news.



Archer: my god this 50 shades of grey really is dirty.
T'pol: I told you so captain.



Hoshi: what you smirking at?
Travis: I've just put lip gloss on trip whilst he was sleeping hehe



Trip: wow I look great this lip gloss complements me, now pout. Ohh yeahhhh.

 

T'Pol: So, Captain, have Frank and Joe caught the burglar yet?
Archer: Hey! Spoiler alert!

 

Archer: I bet Cumberbatch is playing a young clone of myself, bent on revenge for Scotty's losing my prized beagle.

T'Pol: Somehow, I doubt it.

Archer: He looks like myself before Quantum Leap!

 

T'Pol: Captain, what are you doing over there?

Archer: I'm reading porn like I always do this time of day.

T'Pol: No, I meant what are you doing in the girls toilets. You may be the most illogical human I have come accross but surely even you could have found a more suitable location for your hobby.

Archer: ...why did you wait til you were sat on the can with your pants round your ankles to ask me this?

 

Archer: "Trip. Who are you hiding from?"

 

Screams come from where Trip is after being covered in whipped cream.

Travis: I wonder if Trip has found my suprise?
Hoshi : I think he has, you are sooo gonna get it.

Off Camera Trip: Travis I hope you can run fast

 

PARK: What's so funny?

MONTGOMERY: I finally got all those Mayweather jokes.

 

My first thought.

 

Reed - You owe me 10 bucks Ensign. You said I wouldn't stick my tongue out at the Captian.

Mayweather - He's not even here.

Phlox - You call that a tongue?



Sato - I've cleaned my teeth 5 times and I can still taste denobulan seamen.



T'Pol - Captian, are you aware that the doctor is whoring himself around the female crew members.

Archer - I know, this is the lasted video. I never would have believed Hoshi was so adventurous in bed.



Hoshi - What are you smiling at?
Mayweather - Just thinking of a video the doctor sent me.



Tucker - Ooooooh is that the doctors latest video?

 

T'Pol: The Vulcan Science Directorate has determined that "fairies" are impossible.

Archer: T'Pol, it's a play. I'm Puck, you're Titania, now say your damn lines!

 

Archer: Hey, T'Pol, does Vulcan space have a name?

T'Pol: I am not here to indulge your fanwank, Captain.

 

Good stuff, folks! I'd planned on getting the next contest up last night, but some things came up. It'll be up some time this evening.

 

Tada!