Few would confess to like the Ferengi in general, but Quark frequently rose above the venal stereotypes of the lobed wonders. Certainly no civilian has ever had a more prominent spot in a Star Trek production! Before you all have your fun with him, here's last weeks winners! As usual, this will run for two weeks or so. Have fun!
QUARK: Were did you get these? GRILKA: The Liberace Collection. A man with a warriors' taste, to be sure
Worf: ``I will have a large, cold glass of 'punching you in the face'. … Thank you.'' Quark: ``Let me give you folks a few more minutes to peruse the menu.'' ``The guns are fine, but what I really like about this place is how the decor evokes early-80s game show.'' ``Hey, you're right! Has anybody got a holographic Bill Cullen?'' ``You didn't tell me you'd be wearing Denobulan Yeti too!'' ``Ooh, ooh … uh … is this going to be on the bill?'' ``Everything's going to be on the bill, you … argh.'' ``It's from the same sire as Shatner's last two hairpieces.''
#1 Quark: I'm not sure of the correct pronunciation, but I believe it's called 'menage a trois'? or #2 Quark: Do you know about shrinkage? Dax: It shrinks? Quark: Like a frightened turtle. Dax: Why does it shrink? Worf: It just does... Dax: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things. or #3 Quark: I swear, Mr. Worf, I thought I was walking in on Jadzia on the shower, not you! Next time, I'll keep my eyes open and only grab when I know what I'm grabbing. Quark: Someone's overcompensating. While visiting her best friend's apartment, the Klingon women summed up her date with Quark: "He took it out." "Can I get an amen, brotha!"
Correction required: Quark: I'm not sure of the correct pronunciation, but I believe it's called "menage a Troi."
QUARK: You're doing great Worf. In my experience, women love it when you never talk to them and tell them everything important to them is frivolous and stupid. QUARK: I'm going to take a wild guess at your favorite holoprograms. Goodfellas and The Third Man. GALA: QUARK! The last guy to accuse him of plagiarism ended up floating out the airlock! GRILKA: I wonder what our kids would look like. QUARK: Eww. Permanent mental image. BRUNT: Simon says aim the blaster. Raise your hand in the air. Quark, you're out. QUARK: I just came up with a brilliant idea for next time a human asks for hot dogs.
Thanks for the win QUARK: Worf, I know you are madly in love and have only eyes for her....but will you please get your chair off my foot..... QUARK: Oh.... THAT army!!! Quark loved his monthly visit to the Sony and Cher fan club Quark: Mr Odo may I be excused? my brain is full Quark still couldn't work out how Worf had managed to get the woolly hat off his head but still leave the pom-pom behind
Thanks for the win! Dax: (thinking) Our security measures stink. How the hell did Quark get aboard the Defiant?! Hagoth: Are the safeties on? Quark: The weapon or the holosuite's? Gaila: This is going to get very confusing very fast. Quark: Where am I? What am I doing here? Why does that Klingon have a shotgun?!
Quark: Gaila, when you said you were targeting a few competitors, I didn't know this was what you meant. Quark: Wait, marriage? I thought I signed a real estate contract! Grilka: High Klingon is a very difficult langauge, is it not? Quark: Worf, I have it on good authority the lieutenant likes transparent skulls. Maybe you can work on that. Worf: Perhaps I will work on yours.
Quark: "So how did you break your right arm, and dislocated your left elbow? Worf: "Yes Jadzia ... how DID I do that? Dax: ".......
Worf: Do not waste your time, Quark. Jadzia would never leave me for some lousy bartender. Quark: Oh yeah? Then why do the Prophets say she dumps you for Sam Malone?
Quark: ... And then the Andorian says- Worf: That the Klingon is sick of this joke and the Trill won't be able to save you in time.
BASHIR (off-screen): Oh, finally. I've been waiting twenty minutes for you two to get out of that holosuite. DAX: I'm sorry, Julian. We lost track of time. BASHIR (off-screen): Doing what? You were supposed to be up there exercising. I don't see any sweat. Where are all the bruises, the broken bones, the blood? WORF: We were talking. QUARK: For an hour and forty five minutes? WORF: It is a private matter. DAX (sighing): Worf's having trouble getting it up. WORF: It was a private matter. (beat) QUARK: If you're interested, I could sell you some Viagra--and at a considerable discount I might add! Quark (whispering to Gaila): Should we tell him he's holding it backwards? Gaila (whispering back): Only if you want to end up like Farrakk... It wasn't until half-way through their routine that Quark realized the Klingon Ballroom Dance Competition was to the death. Quark: Oooh! Oooh! I know! I know! The answer is 47! Keiko (off-screen): I haven't called on you yet, Quark...and what are you doing in my class with a phaser!? Some days you get the tribble. Other days the tribble gets you.