TNG Caption This! 323: Friendship to Last

Captain's Log: Beverly is growing suspicious of my constant visits for sore eyes. It's damned hard not to look..

 

Ogawa: It's that Takei. He just posted another Picard pun *chuckle*

 

Sorry to hear of your troubles, Leadhead. Glad you're on the mend.




Troi: Face it, Captain, I'm the counselor you deserve, not the one you need right now.



While pretending to be unconscious, in order to get some well deserved rest, Picard didn't know what disturbed him more, Crusher's lackadaisical approach to his condition, Ogawa's blatant "I'd rather be anywhere but here" demeanor, or Riker's eagerness to declare him dead.



Captain's Log: I can't decide which I hate more, what can only be described as Riker's "Merde-eating grin" or Troi's ability to sleep with her eyes open.



Crusher: It was me, Worf! I replaced your Klingon Opera collection with 21st Century Earth singer Justin Bieber. And you thought it was Wesley all this time! I bet that pisses you off to no extent.

Worf: It would, if I wasn't wondering why it took you so long to come clean. The Klingon torture techniques I used on that boy should have sent any worthwhile mother into a bloodlust the likes of which would scare even a Klingon.

Crusher: Hey, I said I committed the prank, I never said Wesley didn't deserve what he got...



Geordi: Data, why are parts of you glowing under this black light?

Data: I am programmed in multiple techniques. A broad variety of pleasuring.

Geordi: Ew. Note to self, ask to be assigned another partner. Oh, and for bigger shuttle craft cockpits, too, while we're at it.

 

Ogawa (frantically thumb-keying): "omg! capn on flr! wtf!!! l8er..."




"Captain's Log: Judging by Counselor Troi's reaction to my offer of two week's leave for her and Commander Riker together in a luxury hotel suite on Risa, I'm now wondering if the Commander's copious boasting to me about his sexual exploits with her may have been mostly fabricated."

 

Music begins to play ♫ Bow-chica- wa-wa♫

Riker: (Thinking; "All right!"), "Hey wait a minute..I know her!"

Troi: "Oh God..."

 

Riker: He keeps quoting Shakespeare and Dixon Hill.
Crush: Oh my thumb was on the clicker. Sorry.

 

RIKER: Who's this "Eric" guy he keeps mumbling about?

 

TFTW!


"Hey there baby. You come here often?"
"Counsellor, now is not the time nor the place."


Picard: Mmm, Numbah One, that feels nice.
Crusher: That's my hand, Jean-Luc.
Ogawa: [thinking] Oh jeez this is awkward. Just focus on the PADD.


Riker always enjoyed letting rip with one of his silent but deadly in the Ready Room. This time however, Troi caught on when she felt the vibrations.


Crusher: Worf, you're up first for your prostate exam!
LaForge: [thinking] I always hate how excited she gets about those.


LaForge: Shit, it's the space police!
Data: I did tell you this was only a half-impulse zone and you were going at two-thirds.

 

Ensign Gates: [thinking] Why is it a medical emergency whenever Picard flakes out on the Bridge? I mean that's what happens whenever he hits the Aldebaran whisky!

 

Picard: Numbah One, if you don't get those stinknuts off my bridge post haste, I shall proceed to beat you into Merde, and do it fast.

 

Sirtis: Some days I envy your haircut



Crusher: Crusher to sickbay! I need all the king's horses & all the king's men... STAT!



Picard: Number One, Lt. Barklay's crew evaluation is a bit unclear. What exactly is a Goddess of Empathy?



Crusher: Oh! By the By, I thought you'd be glad to know that foot fungus cream came in



Data: Oh look, blouses under $10 are 2 for 1

 

Picard(OS): "OK, which one of you ate my canary?"

 

Picard: "Duck season."

Troi: "Wabbit season."

Picard: "Duck season."

Troi: "Wabbit season."

Picard: "Wabbit season."

Troi: "Duck season."

Picard: "OK, Counselor, that's 10,000 for me, 0 for you. Don't you have anything else we can use to pass the time?"





The expansion of Blue Man Group was not well received.

 

Crusher: "You can tell Starfleet Command we have some good news and some bad news..."

<brief pause>

"...the bad news is that Picard's injuries are of a type that's rarely survivable..."

<brief pause>

"...the good news is that this last hair transplant seems to have taken."

 

Crusher: "It's called auburn. Do you like it? Or should I go back to the strawberry blonde?"

 

Geordi: The Enterprise is ordering us back to the shuttlebay.

Data: We can not go back now. I just blue us.

Geordi: There really has got to be a better way to say that.

 

Riker: "What's the prognosis, Doctor?"

Crusher: "Well, it's kind of hard to tell at this time..."

Ogawa: "Are you kidding? He's smashed! Earl Grey, my ass!"

 

Crusher: We've got to get the Captain to sickbay!

Riker: Sickbay? What is it?

Crusher: It's the area of the ship designated for those in need of medical attention, but that's not important right now.

 

Data: Geordi, I do appreciate your fondness for 22nd century Starfleet history, but I do not believe this is the appropriate time to play "Decon Chamber."

 

Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?