TOS One Sentence Thingy!!!

"One sentence thingy?"

"Sure, why not?"

"I don't know. It just seems...well...kind of...."

"Come on. Let's try it--I'll start."


Scotty knew that at that precise moment, he was the most important person on the Enterprise.

 

After all, nobody - not one of the 431 other people on the Enterprise - could do what had to be done.

 

I jist hope, thought Scotty, that th' crew doesnae notice any o' th' wee, subtle changes that will be appearin' all over th' ship afterwards.

 

This hope would prove to be overly optimistic.

 

"Ah, well," Scotty thought, "'tis nae time like th' present tae get started."

 

It turned out to be a resounding success, though drunkenness shot up at an alarming rate.

 

Then he found another bottle he'd hidden away for 'special occasions'.

 

He was about to open it, when he heard Uhura screaming - she'd just noticed one of the subtle changes he'd made...

 

Everyone on the bridge turned to look at the multicolored, six-inch lizard climbing up the communications board as it yelled over and over again, "I know I was TALLER than this."

 

Everybody rolled their eyes as Uhura shrieked for the 923,828,209,385th time: "CAPTAIN, I'M FRIGHTENED!!!!!!!"

 

"No need to be frightened," said Kirk patting the lizard's thigh with his pinkie, "you may be a lizard, Uhura, but you're still quite attractive."

 

"Logically," said Spock, "this is highly improbable, and though I doubt Doctor McCoy's medical training covers such transmutations, he may be the most qualified to determine what has happened to Lieutenant Uhura; however, and this is also a logical assumption, though he is known to be somewhat cantankarous, ill-mannered, judgmental, believes himself an expert on certain matters of physiology, speaks without thinking, doesn't like me very much, is boorish, opinionated, acts emotionally, and is often intoxicated, one thing is clear: he is the best man for the job."

 

Watching all of this, Sulu thought to himself "Well, no lines for me again this week..."

 

"To hell with that," he thought, and directly the ship was graced with a shirtless, rapier wielding Sulu, once again terrorizing the hallways of the Enterprise.

 

"Richelieu," Sulu snarled, "you filthy, miserable piece of merde, you will pay for your crimes!"

 

Everybody, including Uhura, stared at Spock; they were extremely impressed that he had been able to utter such a long, impeccably grammatical sentence, and without stopping to take a breath.

 

Sulu calmly stared for a moment, then he said, "Hello, my name is Hikaru Sulu; you killed my father; prepare to die."