TOS Caption Contest #237: O Captain! My Captain!

Thanks again for another great week of entries. Hope everyone is enjoying the long weekend! Now, what you’ve all been waiting for, here are:




Bloody marvelous....

Extreme dentistry....

One of the best lines ever...

This week’s photoshop winners are:

After all their complaining, Kirk finally took them all to the zoo!

Missed it by....that much!

Congratulations to all the winners and thanks to all who entered!

This week: Kirk reacts to an indecent proposal from Bones; takes a night course in small appliance repair, and has a headache that’s almost as big as his ego. Have at it!

 

Kirk: Hello?



Spock: What does Dr McCoy mean by "Happy Ending"?

 

Kirk: "Which one of you two pissed on my bed?"


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Sargon/Kirk: "It's no use.... I can't put Humpty back together again.


.

 

Spock: "...and further, Captain, I postulate that Doctor McCoy requests the water pillow simply because I have already logged my own request on the ship's computer".



Kirk (reading): "Insert tab A into slot C....and tab C into slot F. Insert rounded component three alpha into slot nine beta...follow diagram 6. Diagram 6....

....

....Mr. Spock. Declare war on planet Ikea II".

 

(Thalassa hands box to Sargon)

Sargon: "A gift? For me?"

Thalassa: "Yes, let's go to captain's quarters and try it out!"

Sargon: "We can't... evidently you didn't realize they use 240 volt current here."


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Thanks for the win!!




As Spock and McCoy had to remind Kirk... not all species keep their genitals in the same spot.




Dr. Mulgrew: Yes, well, uh, there are minor differences. I am what we call a female.
Captain Kirk: It is the way in which we propagate our species.







Where did I put the dill weed?

 

MULHALL: I think it needs more salt.

 

Kirk: Is my refrigerator running? What the hell is a refrigerator?



Kirk: Spock, can you hear me now.



Spock: Captain, Dr. McCoy has a rather large erection.

Kirk: I Know. I'm trying not to look.

 

Spock: But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?
Kirk: Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby, that's all.

 

Kirk:"Aww shit, space herpes simplex XXV, now I'll really have to think where I got that from?"

 

It's okay Captain, I understand it happens to a lot of men.

Kirk: "Now, give me some sugar."

 

Most illogical, gentlemen. In space, everything is airtight.

 

Kirk: 2,486 parts? Do we really need an Interociter? It's just wedge shaped view screen with built in phasers...

 

Thanks for the win A.V.I.A.F.



Good Kirk: Why did yeoman Rand slap me? All I did was compliment her appearance.

 

McCoy: Spock, have you noticed we're his "friends" right up to the moment he might have to sleep on the floor?
Spock: Jim, the good doctor is indeed correct. I suggest rock, scissors, paper to resolve this dillema.




Oh give it up, Jim. You got through Star Fleet Academy by re-programming all your tests so stop pretending.



Can't breathe, girdle too tight!

 

Muldaur: "Well, I'll be damned! Jimmy Doohan was telling me the truth! It is a rug!"




Spock: "As usual, Captain, your too-smart-by-half, penny-pinching bargaining has screwed us once again!"
Kirk: "How was I supposed to know the 'Three For One' deal meant we all had to share the same girl!"
McCoy: "Are we even sure the deal includes a girl?"

 

Kirk: "Spock, did you do this?"
McCoy: "I'm sorry, Jim... my maxi-diaper slipped a little."

 

Kirk: "What kind of people are these Yonadans? One bed for the three of us?"
Spock: "Captain, it is quite alright--I prefer to stand."
McCoy: "C'mon Jim, a little cuddling is a good thing between old friends."

 

Shatner: "I... can't remember... how to under act!"




Mullhaul: "Captain, I'm just as disappointed in this as you are."
Kirk: "No mechanical genitals... no mechanical genitals..."