TNG Caption This! 342: Tardy

First Officer's Log. I have to introduce the Captain to what we consider a hot tea back in Valdez. This is lukewarm!

 

CRUSHER: Just don't ask him to play "I Ran". Apparently to Klingons it is without honor.

 

Poor Worf, all he wanted was playing Aktuh and Maylota.

 

The Korg-anian peace treaty weighed heavily on Worf.

 

Beverly: We've just finished installing the new first contact console!

 

CRUSHER: You are an obsession You're my obsession Who do you want me to be To make you sleep with me? You are an obsession You're my obsession Who do you want me to be To make you sleep with me?

 

Troi (OS): "And by 'burping' the lid like this, you can seal in the freshness!"
Picard: "Number One, is Counselor Troi trying to sell us those plastic food containers?"
Riker: "Certainly sounds like it, doesn't it."

 

Thanks for the win!



Crusher: Jean-Luc! The pregnancy was a false alarm.
Picard: For god's sake, Beverly, not on the bridge!




Picard: Can you explain this, Mr. Data?
Data: It appears to be a real-time strategy game, sir, one which players are tasked with both harvesting resources and creating buildings and units and directing their armies-
Picard: Yes, Mr. Data, I know what it is. Why is it being played on a Starfleet console?
Data: The practice of strategy and logistics, sir.
Picard: This has wooden boats and men with bows and arrows!
Data: Time-travel preparation.
Picard: What is it they're doing, anyway?
Data: Presently the simulation is paused. The French are about to deal Henry V the final blow at Azincourt, manuevering troops directly behind the Britons to take them in a double envelopment!
Picard: ..hm. Carry on.
..can you do Napoleon?

 

RIKER: I think I just made a Number 2.

 

PICARD: Well?

DATA: Call Geordi. I am not getting my positronic posterior anywhere near that mess!

 

Worf: "Hey! You're invading my personal space again! I've asked you nicely again and again. I've even put markers on the floor. What does it take with you people?!"

 

CRUSHER: What's his job exactly? What does he do?

PICARD: He's a bridge officer.

CRUSHER: But what does that even mean? Yeah, he's on the bridge and he's an officer....

 

PICARD: Didn't you tell me this artifact found on my last archaeological trip was undamaged?

DATA: This ancient CD is in perfect condition sir.

PICARD: So, why aren'y you capable to run it?

DATA: I am running it. Captain, Windows Me can not simply stop sucking 364 years later.

Distorted Majel Barrett voice (OS): Rrrr..Rid memem...me...offff..thattt pie-piecel....oofofofof...of....

 

Worf: Truly this 'Rick Wakeman' was the finest of warriors.

 

PICARD: He contributes to the mission in various ways.

CRUSHER: You mean growling and threatening to attack any intruder, like Q, who happens to materialize on the bridge?

PICARD: When did Wesley do that?

CRUSHER: Wesley? I'm talking about Worf!

WORF: Are you seriously suggesting that my contributions to this crew are on par with a human child?

PICARD: No, I am certainly not! I would never suggest that Wesley wasn't essential to my bridge crew.

WORF: If you were any other man...

PICARD: Well, can you fix it? I wanted to try those AOL CDs we found next.

 

Picard: What happened?

Data: It all started when I opened that subspace message from the Prince of New Nigeria

 

DATA: And there goes Life Support.

PICARD: So, we're all going to die?

DATA: No sir, I am designed to operate in an airless, zero gravity environment for extended periods of time.

 

DATA: Captain, I already made a lot of simulations with Lieutenant Laforge about this. If there is absolutely no problem to emulate a 56k modem, in all cases, Counselor Troi will yell at us to free up the phone line.

 

I was considering a similar photoshop but your caption is better than anything I would've thought of .

 

WORF: Captain, she's in the spot. Should I active the trap door?

CRUSHER: Wait....what?