TOS five word thingy!!!

averse to setting their phasers

 

on the auto-erotic stun setting.

 

"I could go for a

 

tad of autoerotic asphyxiation before

 

my scheduled interlude with the

 

network executives. I find it

 

most pleasurable, at any time."

 

"Even at the podiatrist?" asked

 

Sulu, who was thinking of

 

the first gay pon-farr that

 

involved transforming robotic alien lifeforms

 

from mediocre twenty-first century movies.

 

Sulu smiled. Brokeback Planet loomed

 

on his vibrating scanner, which

 

refused to accept aliens except

 

those with Federation Express cards.

 

Sulu took the helm. Captain's

 

Log: I have been....constipated...since

 

my katra merged with Spock's

 

"Vulcan Cheese of the Month",