Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILERS)

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

They fight because the franchise demands that they do. (Would anyone go see a Transformers romantic weepie?) It's all a subtle, meta-textual satire on America's military-industrial complex, and those who gain obscene riches selling exorbitant contracts for simple services to the military that servicemembers could easily do themselves , then lobby Decepti-sorry, Republican politicians to forbid the armed forces from doing those very things, thus necessitating the contracts.

The corporate orchestrators of the complex call this "efficiency".


The reason the last hour of the movie is all action is because Bay wants you to reflect on all this pain and misery provoked for the purpose of buying a rich old white man a yacht and a supermodel girlfriend. Blood for bikinis; tears for claret.

... He's trying to get you to think.


As the great poet Delmore Schwartz wrote once wrote of Lincoln,

... Do not be deceived. He did not win,
And, it is plain, the South could never win
(Despite the gifted Northern generals!)
—Capitalismus is not mocked, O no!
This stupid deity decided the War—

In fact, the North and South were losers both:
—Capitalismus won the Civil War—

—Capitalismus won the Civil War,
Yet, in the War’s cruel Colosseum,
Some characters fulfilled their natures’ surds...




​

(Roger Ebert is a paid peon of Lockheed Martin.)

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

The problem for me, is that by the time the final battle battle came, I was so utterly disgusted by the movie and all the awful, incompetent storytelling that I had to sit through to get there (and which Locutus detailed extensively above) that I just didn't give a shit about any of it anymore.

I wish I could have been able to refocus and enjoy that action on it's own like others here, but the movie had just killed my will to live by that point.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

In another forum, a friend commented on the new movie, and his comments are perfect for the way I feel. With his permission, I quote his opinion here:

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

A description of the movie or a night of sex?

Your call!

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

Spoiler: Don't give me ideas.

Grimlock: Optimus, Grimlock has always loved you. Grimlock love you when Grimlock first saw you on Cybertron, standing tall like Autobot, talking big like Autobot, with body to explode for like Autobot.

Optimus: I'm sorry, old friend... but I simply don't... feel that way.

Grimlock: Grimlock's feelings for Optimus UNREQUITED! GRIMLOCK HATE OPTIMUS NOW!

*cue epic Grimlock/Optimus fight scene, incredible battle that destroys let's say Detroit, Optimus wins, leaving a beaten Grimlock to retreat*

*next scene: Grimlock eating Ben & Jerry's ice cream from giant vat, crying on Slag's shoulder*

*next scene: Optimus Prime over a ruined Detroit as sad pop music plays, while Grimlock is rampaging through Tokyo*

Optimus: Freedom is the right of all sentient beings, but what is freedom without the pursuit of happiness?

*American flag is behind Optimus, sunset*

Optimus: I haven't pursued happiness for a long time. A long time.

*Optimus turns to a weepy Megatron*

Megatron: You know I'll always be there for you.

Optimus: I know, my old enemy... my oldest friend.

*They hug.*

Optimus: Take care of Starscream. He has wanted this for a long time...

*next scene: Optimus and Grimlock engaged in robo-sex on the metro, cars colliding and EXPLODING over their writhing transformer bodies*

*other side of metro: same difference, but Megatron and Starscream*

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

I can understand that. I can't say I was anywhere near disgusted with the movie at that point, but the storyline was weak and made little to no sense a lot of the time. It relies on you interpreting it linearly and instantly forgetting everything that came before it in the movie.
But it did manage to avoid the instant deal breakers of the second movie for me. By the time the action sequences came around, I had given up on the plot, but I had not lost interest in the Autobots, or even Sam, as whiny as he was in places. So while the story was bad, the execution was a lot better than the second film. It wasn't that much better that I believe anyone should change their opinion of the franchise because of it, but for me it managed to overall stay just competent enough for the second half to redeem it in my mind.

Undoubtedly still a very flawed movie. No arguments from me. But it managed to thoroughly entertain me despite the flaws this time. That's not something I can or will justify objectively. The movie is what it is.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

*ring, ring*: Hello? Oh, hi, Mike. Congrats on another successful opening weekend... What's that? Sure, I'll ask him.

... AJBryant, Michael wants to know why your friend hates America.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

Well, while I liked the movie, I still gotta agree that I don't get the hate for Shia. I loved those bits as well. The part with him him keeping up his attitude when going trough the scanner was priceless

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

I've never had a problem with Shia before (and even found him ok in the otherwise dreadful Indy 4), but in this movie it just felt like he was trying TOO hard to be weird and quirky. He almost came across like a manic nutcase at times.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

^^^^^^I feel that way about Ken Jeong

I've never had a problem with Jeong before (and even found him ok in the otherwise dreadful Hangover II), but in this movie it just felt like he was trying TOO hard to be weird and quirky. He almost came across like a manic nutcase at times.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

I have to disagree with this. I prefer Welker's raw badass Soundwave voice to the vocoder. Yes, it sounds like Dr. Claw, and you sometimes expect him to say, "I'll get you next time, Prime... next tiiiiiime," or, "Decepticons, eliminate Prime!" but it's still awesome.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

I think the real problem was that the Ken Jeong character felt like a character from ROTF. Too much toilet humor that went on for too long. Cut out nearly all of it and it would have been better. Did we need to see him stalking Sam for several minutes or that scene with him taking off his pants while Sam was sitting on the toilet?

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

People complain about the Bumblebee "peeing" scene from the first movie, but that almost seems cute and innocent now compared to some of the really bizarre, juvenile, and sexist stuff they put in the sequels.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

The stupidity of basing a movie's success on "expected" performance instead of actual performance astounds me. It made "$29 million less than expected????" It MADE $182 million in the USA alone in 7 days!!! How fucking stupid are the industry and investors?

RAMA

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

^^^^
I agree RAMA.
When I'm at the BOM forums you hear that plenty. Forms of,"It was expected to do...." Fine I get expectations but when a film still banks plenty don't act like the reality is actually bad.

The other thing about his character was that cause he was so annoying and loonie there was no connection to his death. He died, move on. I mean crap I felt worse for the innocents in Chicago shown getting popped than Jeong's character. When he was gone I actually was glad.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

This movie wasn't as bad as 2 which several scenes of dogs humping one another.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

It didn't help that the death was played for laughs. That to me was a prime example of just how far off track these movies went. Even in a Transformers movie, there has to be some level of believability and credibility, and it felt to me like there was less and less of that as time went on.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

I don't mind the unprocessed voice, but it did strike me as odd that the only reason Welker was cast was to appease mad G1ers but they didn't put on the effect that's the real thing everyone remembers about the original voice.

One thing I will say about the original cartoon despite all it's easy to pick apart flaws when seen through adult eyes, is it had a great soundscape. Generally top notch voice acting, nicely hummable inncidental music and the sound effects managed to mix the new (the original Transformation sound is genius, much like Soundwave's voice it's something kids can immitate easily whilst playing) and stock being very well done.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

Finally saw this and voted average. I thought overall this was a definite improvement over "Revenge of the Fallen" and though it still has flaws (Ehren Kruger can't seriously think that is how parents talk to their kids nowadays or that is "hip" and "kewl" parent slang or whatever? I still blame him for reducing Judy's character into ridiculous comic fodder) but I still enjoyed it. Rosie Hunginton was good as Carly and was surprised with how much she was given to do in the role. Shia was Shia.

I loved the first half of the movie, the second half was okay but pretty messy. The Decepticons pretty much lived up to their human moniker in this movie to a tee. Megatron was utterly useless once again. Starscream was a farce of his cartoon counterpart. Shockwave was not the villain of the movie and barely had anything to do....Sentinel Prime was the movie's villain and I thought Leonard Nimoy did an okay job. Speaking of Nimoy I loved all the "Star Trek" references scattered throughout the film. Patrick Dempsey was pretty good. It was nice seeing him playing a different character than the ones he normally does.

The score is beautiful. I'm a fan of Steve Jablosky's work. He might have a little Hans Zimmer in him but that's probably to do with the fact that he's worked with Hans before and I believe was a protege of his as well. I am a big fan of the score for all three films.

It will be interesting to see where the future of this franchise lies now with the obvious monster box office in take already and DVD sales most likely projected to go through the roof I doubt Paramount will retire the franchise. I read an article the other day where Don Murphy hinted there could be a fourth one with new characters. There are lots of possibilities where they could take this franchise. I just hope they get a better writer than Kruger. I would give this a C grade.

 

Re: Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Discuss, Grading, Reviews (SPOILE

^^ I do hope that they do a fourth. Whilst the Transformers movies are hardly Shakepeare they are great fun to watch and I love them for that.