We'll crack that when we find one. No biggies. This, on the other hand, makes no sense. There is no "to me" here. Just a matter of consensus in the scientific community. You can claim that stars, cats, and verbs are all apples to you, and that would be equally meaningless.
No, it sounds like a Greek word that hasn't been Latinized. That's how it's supposed to be spelled. Well, except... in the Greek alphabet. Plenty of asteroids have moons. A moon is a satellite of another object; that object is not required to be a planet. As I understand it, it's a collision of two separate proposals that don't mesh well. One proposal was for a subclass of planets that would be called dwarf planets; the other was for a class of non-planetary objects that would be called subplanets. Somehow the closed-door committee that slapped together a hasty compromise ended up taking a little from Column A and a little from Column B and ending up with a class of non-planetary objects called dwarf planets, which is conceptually, linguistically, and procedurally a mess. Although it certainly fits the classic definition of a compromise: an agreement that leaves both sides equally unhappy.