TOS Caption Contest # 266 What is IT??

Rand: What is that thing?

Sulu: I don't know, but it goes 'zip' when it moves and 'bop' when it stops, and it 'whirrrs' when it stands still …




Scotty: I think that I shall never see, a switch as beautiful as thee!

Bones: You mean it’s as cute as a button?




Losira: When I over-heard you guys talking about how you have always wanted a three-some, I thought I'd join you ...

Sulu: But then it wouldn't be a three-some.

Kirk: He's right. Sorry, but it’s simple mathematics.

 

Scotty: "Who ta hell would build a button that says 'Do nah press' on it? Whoops, I guess that was me. I gotta stop drinkin' before me shifts..."

 

Rand: "What the hell?"

Sulu: "I could have sworn Chekov killed that space roach six caption contests ago."

 

Rand: Why is there a watermelon there?
Sulu: ...I'll tell you later.

 

Rand: "Why is Kevin Riley on the floor like that?"

Spock (OS): "I chided Mr. Riley for overdoing the Saurian Brandy. He said he'd wipe the floor with me. I thought it would be logical to be proactive and do so with him first."

 

Rand: "It's Lieutenant Farrell! Thrashing around on the deck and babbling incoherently!"
Sulu: "He's probably been looking at Medusan porn again!"

 

Sulu: You see? This is the type of thing that happens when you don't have toilets on a starship...

 

Rand: "He's trying to look up my skirt."

Sulu: "Why would anyone want to look up a woman's skirt?"

Rand: "Sulu, we need to have us a long talk."



Scotty: "See, the button is labeled 'reset'."

Russian Ambassador (os): "It actually says 'overcharge'."


(political humor)

 

RAND: But why would the corridor just end here?

 

Sulu: Oh my, my Papillon has pooted again! Take care of it, Yeoman.
Rand: Is your name Kirk?



Scotty: Blasted red ring of death!!! Lousy engineers! They promised the XBox 46080 would be different!!!



Bones: Captain, I must do a complete body scan on her! Should take about six hours.
Sulu: I really don't see what the point is, can't we go back to that civilization based on the Greeks again?
Kirk: You two beam back up, I'll take care of things down here.




"The logical course of action would be to pull my finger."

 

SCOTT: At last I've perfected the History Eraser Button!
CAPTAIN REN HOEK: Don't touch it, you fool!

 

Scotty: "Och! Th' warp engine auto-destruct button! I'm nae too drunk t' know I'm too drunk t' have this!"

 

KirkPrime: Bullshit.

 

Captain, help
I am being sussed out by a large floating circular antiquity

 

Kirk Prime: Brothers, we should be struggling together! Surely we should be united against a common enemy!

ALL: THE FEDERATION PEOPLE'S FRONT!!

Kirk Prime: No, the Klingons!

 

Vulcan boy: "It's your fault, Spock. You said it would be logical to join the safety patrol, and now they've gone and given us the kiddie pool shift."

 

Vulcan boy: "Enough of your 'child beauty pageants are illogical, especially for males.' Now that we know there's a decent cash prize, can't you be like Spork here and get with the program?"

 

"Better wise up, Spock! The way they dress us kids here on Vulcan, having any kind of emotions is just going to make you one seriously f**ked up adult!"

 

Vulcan Boy: Look earth for brains, it wasn’t my idea to wear this getup. I asked my older brother about it and he said it was "traditional".

Spock: What does that mean?

Vulcan Boy: Beats me. All he would say is there are times when Vulcan males have trouble keeping their pants on.

 

Stonn: "You have earned my never ending enmity Spock. One day I shall kill you with our peoples tradition weapons, and then take your woman as my own."