We know we generally inherit things after our relatives die. Grandma passes on her fine china. Mom gives you her old jewelry. But what about inheriting things from your relatives before they pass into the Great Beyond? What have you been given before your relation passes? I ask because today my grandfather, who is finally moving into a retirement home, gave me the choice of books in his library. In my possession are now books published in 1881, 1901, 1908, 1934 and 1936.
When my mother was terminally ill she told me to go through her books to see what I wanted. I ended up selecting about 50 books and carried a few home on the bus everytime I visited my Mum. For some reason my mother also put about 50 books I didn't want into my pile and rather than upset her I had to take them home as well.
My dad started giving me a few things about a year before he passed away. Mementos of his racing days or things we had done together over the years. While not valuable, I treasure them deeply.
I took up with a woman my parents don't care for. They disinherited me and left everything to my sister, who married wealthily and doesn't really need it.
My Mom has nothing that I want, that I can think of. Of course, it's going to bea bitch to clean out her hoarder house when she's gone. After my grandmother passed, all I took was things like scissors and pencil leads--things I use but hate to spend money on. And I got a share of her LA-area house when it sold. The money was nice. I thank her for that even though she didn't like me (or anyone else, for that matter).
I don't want anything my parents have. I don't want their house, their cars, or anything in same. Let whoever is taking care of their estate decide what to do with these things. I wouldn't even begin to know how to do that.
I have been put in charge of the family trust, before both of my two older sisters. I will one day have to see to it that my parents' house is sold and the property and cash is evenly distributed--including stipulations about a certain sister passing a drug test first. I do not look forward to that. My parents have very, very nice things and have already given me lots of things that they didn't want anymore, including the car I'm currently using. My dad gives the clothes that don't fit him anymore to my hubby (they're both tall---or at least Dad was tall before he started to shrink and hunch over). As for specific things to inherit, they haven't yet gotten to the point of handing out treasured items. My Dad has very little sentiment or respect for any of us girls and Mom still has a lot of living to do. At least I hope so, anyway.
Are there no failsafes against that in your country? In Germany, you can disinherit a relative only if the attempted to murder you. Under pretty much all other circumstances you'll be given a minimum inheritance, defined by the law. My grandaunt gave me a lots of books and a very comfortable grandfather chair when she moved to a home for elderly people. And when my aunt died and my sis and I inherited her jewelry, my mom took the opportunity to give us a lot of hers as well (so that my sister and me now have the matching things my mom ad her sister had). To make up for it, my brother (who is a hunter) got grandpa's old hunting gun.
According to them, what will make me happy is ensuring that I make smart decisions, and this is their way of attempting to effectuate that. Their will is kind of moot since I don't imagine they'll ever do me the favor of dying.
My parents have a lot of nice stuff and have asked us what big ticket items we would want. It's weird for me and I'm always non-committal about it. I know my mom plans to leave me all her jewelry save one sentimental piece for my sister-in-law. It's not about the money though; my sister doesn't wear jewelry. But I mean, we all share everything now anyway so I never think about who will inherit what. When all this divorce stuff started, my brother and his wife loaned me $$$$$ and a car, no questions asked. It's just the way my family is. If I wanted or needed something, I wouldn't have to wait for someone to die or think of it as an inheritance at all.
My parents already spend everything on their children and grandchildren. They won't have anything left. Which is the way it should be.
I don't think of it as a failsafe. I think of it as Government intruding where they have no right. Whether I agree or not on the cause of disinheriting, the fact of the matter is, it is their stuff and they should be able to do what they please with it. The only caveat to that would be if there was some sort of duress applied or if there was dishonesty implied when they made out their will. FWIW, I am expecting nothing as an inheritance from my parents. I expect my sister to get everything. It is an idea I have gotten used to and am now simply resigned to the fact. I just don't think the government should have the right to tell how they must disperse their stuff when they are gone.
Most of what I got was from my maternal grandfather, as my paternal grandfather died before I was born, my maternal grandmother died when I was five, and my paternal grandmother did not give up most of her stuff before she died. I remember getting a Leatherman multi-purpose tool from him when I was in high school. I still have it and use it to this day. Getting my license coincided nicely (some might argue a little earlier would have been better) with the time my parents were trying to get my grandfather to give up driving, being that he was close to 90 at the time. They finally convinced him by arguing that it would give me a car. He agreed and I inherited his 13 year old car. A year or so later, they moved him to a nursing home, as he was unable to care for himself. Eventually, my mother and uncle came to understand that he would never be coming back to live in the house (again, he was around 90 years old at the time). They decided to sell the house and we went through it. In going through his attic, I immediately spotted and claimed his Harvard Classics set that started in 1909. I have them on a bookshelf now and, considering they are over a hundred years old, most of them are in pretty decent condition. As in my case, it's not necessarily monetary gifts. It's items that have been in their possession that they would rather see passed on before they die or are incapable of using.
Hubby and I are going to have one hell of a time when we get old: Lots of comics, Disney collectables (some not worth keeping now, some worth something), animation cels, etc. And no kids. And I'm not that fond of our nieces and nephews. Provided we live to ripe old ages, we'll be selling off stuff, or finding good homes, for the stuff of value. The fairly-worthless stuff, I hope to find good homes for sooner, maybe some OCD collectors.
Does this mean that they have given away their house? In Australia is can be hard for people to give away everything because it can affect their pension. The allowable gifting amount is $10,000 in one year, or $30,000 over 5 years. If a person gives away more than that they are treated as if they still have it as assets when it comes to determining the amount of pension they received. When my mum was alive she had a $300,000 unit (which she lived in with my brother) and about $300,000 in investments (savings and shares). She received a part pension which was about half her income, her investment made up the rest. All told she received about $35,000 a year.
My dad pays for my two older children to attend an independent school, and he expects no repayment for it (it's coming out of my inheritance). The combined tuition per annum is more than my husband and I earn. The local state school is crap, and I didn't want the kids going there. My dad has also already given all his kids our monetary share of the inheritance. This has allowed my husband and me to extend our house and give each child his/her own bedroom, which is how my dad wanted us to use the money. When he dies what will be left to share out are his possessions and the proceeds of the sale of his condo. Being the only daughter I already inherited our mother's jewellery when she died, and apart from some photographs and other small sentimental things there's nothing else I want. My house is packed to the gills as it is.