TNG Caption This! 341: Continuing mission

PICARD: Two in gold and one in the ground? What does that even mean?

GEORDI: No idea sir, that's just what Future Guy told me.

 

Picard: I'm sorry, Commander, but you lost the priviledge of being first in line when you didn't hold the door open for us. You have to go to the back of the line.
Riker: But...the doors open automatically!

 

Picard: I'm sorry, Will. But Counselor Troi and I can clearly see that you put shoe polish in your beard. And it's high time you stop using the Tribble ambassador as a hairpiece.

 

Riker: Fine sir, if you believe I deserve to be humilated then having my head vaporized by a notorious Tribble-ophobic officer for a little strawberry jam stain on your precious copy of The Globe Illustrated Shakespeare, make it so!

 

Geordi: There, that was the last upgrade. It took me two years but I've tweaked every system and component by hand. Ship systems running at 98.6 percent efficiency, sir. She'll go warp 9.9 at your command. I can finally take an evening off.

Picard: I hear Starfleet has a new ship that starts at warp 9.975.

Geordi: Dammit!





Picard: Sorry Will. I tried that "Finest officer with whom I have ever served" shtick on Counselor Troi, but being an empath, she saw right through it.

Riker: Did you tell her I'm in a band?

 

Riker: So it turns out you can move your career pretty fast on a Klingon ship if you meet the right woman. *wink*


Picard was really good at playing chicken. Wesley in an environmental suit, not so much.



Picard: You'd look good in gold.
LaForge: Oh, no, captain, please don't. I've got too much potential to die as security guy just to prove the situation is serious!
- sorry, Tasha.
Yar: I'm sorry?

 

LAWAXANA: Frankly Jean-Luc, your human nudity taboos are ridiculous.

 

l

Picard: Ugly bags of mostly water? Beverly, it's for you.
Beverly: Oh no he di'int!
Data: Oh, snap!

 

Picard: "So Geordi, do you like movies about gladiators?"

 

Picard (sotto voce): "Geordi, I want you to verify something for me...discreetly. Would you casually glance around the bridge and tell me if you think Commander Riker is wearing a Wonderbra?"

 

Picard: Geordi, I used to be a helmsman like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee.

 

Hey folks, sorry I can't get the contest up this weekend. Looks like the new contest won't be installed until Tuesday.

 

Thanks for the win!


Picard: Okay the static has cleared on the viewscreen! Nobody move!



Geordi: For a promotion to Head of Engineering? snerk..Sure, Okay!

 

"Captain's Log: As the ship was only moments away from destruction, I instructed my bridge crew to grab whatever was most precious to them and head for the escape pods. Doctor Crusher's and Commander Data's choices were somewhat surprising."

 

Riker: Less stink, more nuts, sir.

 

"However, I am most worried about how to tell Lt. Worf he cannot take the entire bridge with him, as he is obviously trying to do."

 

Crusher: "I'm going to sneeze again."



"But Geordi, I have no need for a 'roach clip'."

 

Sorry folks but I've been fighting a cold all week and I'm not the best judge of comedy in that state. Either tomorrow or Saturday will be the start of the next contest. In the meantime, I fully encourage and support "LeadHead is late" captions, there'll be a special award for it....

 

LaForge: "How much time should we reasonable give Leadhead?"

Data: "I will give this much time."