After destroying O'Brien several times in the last contest we now move on to the next bout of captioning, and forgive me as I indulge in a bit of Onion-esque humour. The tag caption award goes to the following: Congratulations to the winners, in the time you spent captioning you could have read the Principia, discovered the secrets of Zen or made amends to your significant other. /// /// /// And now as requested by your dozens of desperate daily emails here are five more pictures to keep you happy! You know the drill!
Worf: The captain has dishonoured me by his actions! Quark: So what you going to do about it? Cut out his heart and eat it or some of that Klingon claptrap? Sisko: The Prophets spoke to me. Kasidy: What did they say? Sisko: Beware of women seeking your hand in marriage and allies who are enemies in disguise. Kasidy: Anyone in particular? Sisko: ... Kira: Weyoun, you even give me one leery look and I will smash those bulbous ears of yours! Jadzia: Have you had a little nip and tuck to get rid of that baby weight? Kira: <speechless> Quark: What do you mean I have to abide by 'OmertĂ '?
Quark: "Worf, you forgot your hairbrush." "I had a dream I was traveling through time. I went back to the Khitomer conference of 2293..." "That's nonsense." "Admiral Cartright is correct, that's silly." "I see your point but- wait, Admiral who?" "Yes, I can also pick up satellite television." "I wasn't going to-" "Come on, lets get them all out in the open. 'Is that Dumbo I see flying past'?" Kira: "What was that?" Jadzia: "My hand." Kira: "No, I thought I heard something." Quark: "Rule of Acquisition #69; cardigans are nifty"
WORF: Do you smell that Quark? It's the scent of frightened prey! QUARK: I think that's just me. CASSIDY: Now that that's finally over, we can move on with our lives and not deal with all this Prophet stuff anymore. Right Ben? WEYOUN: You must tell me one day, Major Kira, what it is like to bang a God. DAX: Hey, have you ever thought of abusing your relationship with Shakaar to get special privileges, like rare vintage Bajoran wines and stuff? KIRA: No, of course not! Now on an unrelated topic...I have to go...wash my hair. QUARK: Next time you slap me on the wrist can we go without the smug Odo justice speech? SISKO: Only if next time we reference Earth we can go without the smug 'Earth history is way more savage than the Ferengi' speech. QUARK: Okay. Everybody gets to make speeches.
Thanks for the win! Worf: So I know nothing of Klingon women... Quark: Which is funny being I've been in the pants of more Klingons than you have. Sisko: I see dead people! Joesph: I wish people would stop confusing me with that Cartwright person... Weyoun: You have been found guilty of terrorism. The death sentence will be suspended however, if you pay the Founder Odo daily... conjugal visits. Dax: So... the religious icon Bareil, the leader of Bajor Shakaar, and now a member of the ruling caste of the Dominion... you do love powerful men. Kira: I would never fall for Dukat. Dax: I was talking about Odo. Quark: You know Commander, your Ferderation legal system makes this too easy. This fascist has never read me my rights or gotten me a lawyer. Why do you think I'm back without any legal hassle every week?
Thanks for the Winning™!!!! Worf: You are lucky we are not on Kronos Ferengi! Quark: Why's that? Worf: I would enact the Qu'Cho! Quark:What's that? Dax: That's where the man presents the testicales of his love's former suitors to her as a gift of courtship. Quark:Oh... Kasidy: Hey honey wake up! Doctor Bashier got that bowel obstruction out! Sisko: You're never cooking again! My eyes are up here Weyoun! Momentarly forgetting she was no longer a man, Dax slapped Kira playfully on the ass while making kissing sounds... Sisko: Quark, this is absoulutly the last time you try to run a Rub and Tug in the sickbay! Quark: I'm sorry captain, I didn't know that Pah'Lowzian was a man, I couldn't tell!!! Sisko: Neither could I! Otto(Mumbling): If that's what you have to tell yourself... Sisko: What was that Constable? Otto: I'll have him in front of the magistrate first thing in the morning Captain! Sisko: Alright then!
WORF: Cosplay is with out honor! QUARK: I didn't do it. I was off the station. I can get signed affidavits saying so. SISKO: You really need to wait till I say something before denying it. KIRA: I'm winning the most attractive female contest. DAX: Not if you combine my votes with Ezri's.
Jadzia: Getting residual vibes from Counselor Troi again Worf? Worf: Commander Riker has grown...a goatee. I had the strangest dream. And you were there, and you were there, and you were there. Was there a Tin Man? Yes, and he kept saying "Gomtuu, we're friggin' lost." This is my jam right here! Oh? What is this song? I Ran (a Cardassian Labor Camp) by A Flock of Guls. Sometimes I have more spots than normal down there. TMI! Quark: You're the Fashion Police, too?? Sisko: Surprised? Quark: Yes, from the look of things I thought you didn't have a branch in this sector. And you guys really need an internal affairs department. Odo: I've been saying it for ages.
Sisko: Not another Prophet vision! You guys aren't even trying, Jake should be even more disappointing, Joseph should be more useless, and Kasidy should be bitch-ier. Kasidy: We're not visions. Weyoun: Odo said to kill myself? We pledge our loyalty to the Founders, from now until death. Kira: (Works every time.) Dax: I mean I was a guy a few times. Kira: It's still gay. Quark: Like you wouldn't have used a Romulans death to your gain.
Dax: Do you like innies or outies? Kira: None of your business. Dax: That's good, keep your options open. Or in my case, kill two birds with one stone.
Quark: What's he doing? Dax: If I didn't know better, I'd swear...oh no, he's doing it. He's launching into a monologue. Quark: I never thought I'd say this, but I wish he'd just kill me now and spare me the agony. Dax: You and me both, Quark. You and me both. Sisko: Just five more minutes! I was having the best dream about Jennifer. There we were, covered in honey, licking each other... Jake: Dad, stop! I don't need to know about your sexcapades with mom! Kassidy: Seriously, Ben, I've got to compete with a dead woman. Joseph: Both of you, shut up! This is the first story he's told that might not put me to sleep! Weyoun: I must admit, you are a worthy opponent, Major, but face facts, the Founders in their infinite wisdom made the Vorta with the ability to go days without blinking. It's only a matter of time before I win this staring contest. Dax: So, what do you say? You, me, Quark's, just like we used to do. Kira: I don't know, I've got an early shift tomorrow and I was hoping to spend time with Odo. Why don't you go with Worf? Dax: Because the last time I did, the only thing we drank was prune juice. Kira: Well, that explains why you spent half your shift in the head last week! Quark: You know, Commander, I could sue the entire Federation for racial profiling and denying me my freedom of religion. Odo: Harumph. Racial profiling! Quark: It's true, every time there's a crime, Odo always comes to accuse me first. Odo: Because it's always you committing the crimes. Quark: And, another thing, to me, money is my religion. Denying me the opportunity to earn money and therefore follow the tenants of my religion is religious discrimination! Odo: You have got to be kidding me! Sisko: Sadly, Constable, he's got a strong argument against us keeping him locked up in that cell. Odo: At least let me keep him detained until his hearing! Quark: Was that a knock against my ears! Commander, I demand to add a charge of racism to my previous complaints. Sisko: Sorry constable, I'm going to have to ask you to release Quark and refrain from comments that reference his ears. Quark: Damn, this is too easy, I should have thought of this years ago!
Dax: Oh no. Quark: What? Dax:: He's about to do his Delenn thing about Klingon history. Worf: In many times throughout Klingon history, love and honor were connected through heart, courage and danger. Worf turns around. Worf: Where did they go? Sisko: What happened? Kassidy: You got really drunk and lost an arm wrestling match. Joseph: (whispering to Jake) Do you want to tell him he lost to Molly O'Brien? Jake: (whispering to Joseph) I promised Dax I'd let her do it and the morning briefing tomorrow. Don't worry, she's recording it. Weyoun: (thinking) Perhaps my eyes will hypnotize her. Kira: (thinking) You're getting creepy, very creepy.... Dax: So when I told him I was seeing Worf, I told him that you often get my sloppy seconds, so are you interested in dating an Orion Prospector? Sisko: Do you have a real charge for putting Quark in here? Odo: You owe me for making that recording in yesterdays staff meeting disappear. Sisko: Fine.
Daxira: So do I get to be the one to dump Odo? Kix: Only if I can be the one called "Old Man." Daxira: You drive a hard bargain! Kix: Let's go tell Worf we're both pregnant.
Jadzia in Kira's uniform looks hot- ish. Kira in Dax's uniform... It's got to be the head, it's too big.