Yup, your work here is done.... Oh yes, really dignified ! Most of the same words you use I think. Except spunk, which I gather has an altogether different meaning over there. Spooge. Yes, still makes me smile...
I normally look and see if the cars parked in disabled spots here have tags/plates. I'm not disabled or anything, I just check out of curiosity. I almost never see someone illegally parked in a disabled spot here. Then again, you get fined $250 for the first offense here, and at least $250 for subsequent offenses, plus community service. New Jersey don't fuck around. I'm fine with the harsh penalties. There's no reason to park in one of those spots without a tag unless you're just an inconsiderate, lazy ass.
I don't see it as often as I used to, but still too often. One day I had just pulled into a handicapped parking spot at a mall, and a county cop came over and asked to see my license and the certification card that goes with my hangtag. I was delighted he asked! Really shocked him. Apparently everyone else he'd checked that morning had NOT been disabled and had been indignant that they'd been caught. In Maryland, the fines vary by jurisdiction. I've seen as low as $85 and high as $300.
At Whole Foods they have bulk bins where you can buy all kinds of things by the ounce. One of my favorites is the chocolate covered pecans. Delicious! I know you're not supposed to do it, but sometimes when I'm bagging up snack stuff from the bulk bins, I let a few pieces conveniently fall into my hand holding the bag, then casually pass the contents to my mouth. Honestly, I don't do it often. It's usually just with those chocolate pecans because the store has way overpriced them now (they used to be $7.99/lb, now it's $13.99!).
And then there's all the merchandise; T-shirts, rain apparel, back-packs... Here's mine: I literally walk around with Spunk hanging on my backside
I love salty licorice. And spunk here means moxie not jizz. All three of those make good candy/soda names
Yesterday morning, I backed into my neighbor's car and didn't leave a note. I told her when I got home from work though. I didn't damage the car at all, so she didn't care. My roommate told be before that she's a complete bitch, but she seemed nice to me. He probably just creeps her out. Also, my boss at my new job told me I can rearrange my schedule as needed for school things without getting his authorization. Since I'm a psych major, any form of social interaction is research, and therefore school related. So, if I want to leave work early to see the girl I'm dating, it's a school thing. My boss would probably be fine with it if I wanted to leave early for a date, but I like convoluted justifications.
^Doesn't matter; I think I got all the New Taste-Moxie out of it without any loss of functionality...
I have a tendency to borrow books from people and then move to a new city / country / continent without giving them back. I don't even do it on purpose, I just forget about it until it's too late. No-one's complained so far, but nowadays, I warn people to make a note whenever they lend a book to me. You never know what's going to happen. Might be I spontaneously decide to pack my backs and take other people's stuff with me.
I once at someone else's lunch out of the fridge at work because I was hungry and forgot mine. I've been known to use my dog as a substitute for a hand towel.
I used to steal food out of our break room fridge a fair bit of time. I don't do that anymore because my coworkers keep such poor care of that fridge that it's scary to even contemplate eating from. That being said, I will go out of my way to ask my boss if I can empty it out and I will happily throw everything away that doesn't have a receipt on it. Why? Because I can.
The thing close to be as nasty as an office fridge is an office microwave. Would it kill you to cover what you're heating?
I stopped leaving my food in the office fridge because someone will always nick it. I hate it when that happens.
You're going about it all wrong. Bring some food in, lace it with laxative or habanero extract sauce. I think you'll figure out who the culprit is, not to mention your food will be safe going forward.