So I bought a safe.

Minions on a cheese sandwich? Despicable!

 

Me...I like my minions fried and on hot dogs. I never hear them scream, though....the minions not the dogs.

 

Only with a dampening field.

 

There's greatness in this safe. But there's not an ounce of humility. You think that it can't make mistakes. But there's going to come a moment where you realize you were wrong about that; and it's going to get yourself, and everyone under your command robbed.

 

"You think your underwear is safe. That is a lie.You can't see it because... it is an illusion. A comforting lie told to protect you from horny fanboys."

 

I have no idea what it's supposed to hold. I only know what it can hold.

 

Boobies!

 

By now all of you have heard what happened in the shop.
The safe we sold...it was one of our top models.

 

Cos it's not a safe, it's a silent guardian, a Dark Kness.

 

Safe Salesman: I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I only know what I can do.

(presumably, sell safes)

 

I know a guy....and he has a safe for safes.

 

"Your father was a safe cracker for 12 minutes. He recovered 800 bars of gold-pressed latinum. I dare you to do better."

 

So are you a safe, or aren't you?

 

Space is disease and danger, wrapped in clingfilm and kept in a safe!

 

Twelve minutes? I'll do it in three.

 

I think we can safely assume that this safe safety thread is no longer safe, as it seems that the safe safe has had it's tumblers tumbled and it's hinges unhinged...

Thus reveling that what was once thought to be safely inside the safe, is actually no longer safely inside, the safe.

Soooo...,

Please move along safely to the left side of the safe where you will find the right side exit to this safe safety thread.

We thank you for contributing to this safe safety thread, and hope you find yourself safely home.