ENT Caption Contest #88: A Very Special Episode

Hoshi: "You DARE speak to me without permission? Perhaps a few hours in the agonizer booth will cure your insolence!"

Trip: "Uh, wrong universe, Empress."

Hoshi: "Are you volunteering to join her, plebian?"



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Jolene Blalock: "O-Gawd, how can they not see how untalented I am as an actress. I better keep my suitcase packed just in case. Maybe I can get a gig on that long rumored "Manimal" reboot."

 

I apologize for the delay, folks. My mind's been focused on other things over the past few weeks. But I will get the next contest up after the weekend!

 

Ooh, forgot about this one it was so long ago. Thanks for the win!



Archer: Denobulan women are so artifical...



Phlox: This is nothing my leech and a rubdown in the decon chamber can't handle.



The youtube video "Vulcan and a Cup" set a new record for total views.



Trip: So ladies... you two and me.... ya know why they call me Trip?



Archer: Where are our ratings?
T'Pol: They're at the bottom... right under the late night infomercials.

 

Two seconds later, she dislocated her jaw and swallowed Archer whole. There was much rejoicing.


As the crew vs alien visitor of the week staring contest entered it's third day, all but Trip and Hoshi had given up.


Phlox: Yes Mr Mayweather, your abs are very nice, but don't come crying to me just because you rarely get your kit off. I'm not one of the writers.


Blalock: Who would have thought this series would be cancelled? After all, a catsuit clad chick saved Voyager!


Archer: I feel a dramatic speech coming on!
T'Pol: [thinking] No!!!! Ancient Gods of Vulcan, please strike me down!

 

Janeway: Attention Earth vessel -
Archer: Bloody wormhole popups. Change the channel.
T'Pol: Inertial dampeners offline, Captain.
Archer: We're on a planet, ye space pirate.
T'Pol: Aargh.
Janeway: Never mind.

 

T'Pol: I'm feeling woozy, captain. It is fortunate I have this railing to lean on.

Archer: That's not a railing ... and you're welcome.



Mr. Mayweather, chief engineer Tucker lied. He didn't get pregnant by drinking from a public water fountain. You're fine.

 

ARCHER: (Thinking) Best bet I ever lost.



ALIEN: You mean to tell me she can figure out an entire language, by herself, in a few hours, without even knowing any of the vocabulary?
TRIP: Yep.
ALIEN: THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!



PHLOX: You asked for more lines again, didn't you?



HOLOGRAPHIC T'POL: Commander's log. I have just gained sentience, and realized the truth. Ever since a recreation of the real T'Pol's final mission aboard the Enterprise, the cook, who is really the Commander of a 24th century ship, has been using me for a perverse sexual fantasy of his. I can not take this existence any longer, and have finally found a way out: I found a way to erase my program. I hope my brief existence will be remembered not as a perverse sexual object, but as a martyr for all photonic life.



ARCHER: I find that deeply offensive to my culture! I demand you respect human rituals!
ALIEN: I don't care.
ARCHER: But... but... I did a weird tree ritual.
ALIEN: Nobody else but the Federation cares about other cultures' superstitions.
T'POL: I told you it wouldn't work.

 

Hey everybody! I apologize for not getting the next contest started. Truth is I just recently started a new job which has taken up a good chunk of the excess free time I used to have, and I've lost track of a lot of things, this caption contest included. If anyone else wants to take over the contests and keep things moving, please feel free to do so.

 

In an effort to keep things going here, I started a New Contest