I always hated platitudes like, “You can do anything if you set your mind to it,” and the corollary, “If you haven’t succeeded, you haven’t tried hard enough. There is no such thing as lack of ability or lack of opportunity, only lack of character.”
I think it is much more accurate to say that good can be brought out of bad situations in spite of the evil that has been done, not because of it as though those evil things are right or justified. The means do not justify the ends. I think that one can exploit even bad circumstances and should try to do so where possible, to bring about better things. It doesn't make the bad circumstances okay.
I'll tell you something I hate: when you buy some food product that claims to "naturally regulate your digestive system". Just drop the mealymouthed doubletalk and admit it already: "This product helps you take a shit." So does Terry Gilliam... Of course it's bullshit - Nietzsche wrote it. And besides, everyone knows that you only live TWICE.
I always liked that one because it's true. The wounds from words are your own creation. If you don't let them hurt you, they are only words that shed off of you like water from a ducks back. It's a valuable lesson to instill within children.
On the contrary, it's a horrible lesson, for many reasons, the least of which incude that it is probably true for only a tiny percent of people, who are either somewhat antisocial or in denial, and that it is part of a greater culture of externalizing blame ("I was cruel to you and hurt your feelings, therefore you are weak!" Bullshit. You hurt my feelings because you were cruel). This mindset of externalizing blame ultimately comes down to not taking responsibility for yourself and your actions.
There's plenty of bad situations that are bad. Not good. Won't be good. There' nothing good in them. They're ultimately bad. And their results are only bad. If something is in spite of bad situations, it would be there even if the bad wouldn't have happened, so why to involve the bad at all. Let's have the good without that bad. So I agree with Tora Ziyal and trekkiebaggio, this saying is horrible
That ridiculous "everything happens for a reason" bullshit deserves this response from Babylon 5: "You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe." No everything doesn't happen for a reason, you didn't bring this on yourself to learn something. Shit happens, that's the real liberation.
I didn't say that ALL bad situations can be exploited by every person to create some good. But I do think it happens sometimes, that an opportunity will present itself while you are in a bad situation--one that can be taken advantage of. Perhaps it's one that wouldn't have crossed your path under other circumstances, or wouldn't have been so blatant. However, it doesn't make the bad right or justifiable. I see it more like salvaging something that is broken for parts. The broken thing doesn't stop being broken even though you got away with something instead of nothing. The blithe manner in which most people use the saying, "Everything happens for a reason," to suggest being grateful that someone or something hurt you, is bad because it makes the wrong or evil seem justifiable or excusable, and that one shouldn't stand up to it. That is something I don't care for. Looking for opportunities to escape or take something away from a situation, on the other hand, is empowering because it means not just sitting there and accepting/condoning it. It counteracts learned helplessness.
I agree that sometimes something positive can be salvaged from a bad situation. However, it's never why the situation occurred, so "everything happens for a reason" is never justified. Whether said blithely or not.
A lot of the time I think when people say "everything happens for a reason" it's just a way for them to distance themselves from your pain.
I think we're saying the exact same thing differently: the good happens in spite of the bad, and the saying in question is an extremely poor way of expressing it, with some bad theology to boot.
But the good doesn't always happen. And frankly most people would trade whatever good they wring out of a truly horrible event to not have had the event.
In many cases that's true...though I do think it depends on what a person thinks of the nature of the event, and the eventual outcome. Sometimes I think people apply the saying to something that is only mildly disturbing, and they might not trade it away (like getting fired from one job but taking the opportunity to get a better/more fulfilling one). Other times--you're right in that no real good ever came of it, or what happened was just too awful.
Any simplistic bumper-sticker slogan like "War is not the answer." Well, sometimes war is the answer. How else should we have dealt with Hitler? You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here. And whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back.