The locals said I was insane for building a levee between my condo and my neighbors'. Locutus' Folly they called it. "You'll be consumed by your mad dreams!" they screamed. "What possible use is there for a levee when you're six meters above sea level and over a mile inland?", they argued. Muhahahahahahaha! When you're done being waterboarded by the Pacific, SUCK ON THIS, YOU SOGGY BITCHES!!! I hope you fools enjoy hanging out with Ursula the sea witch, that creepy robot Haley Joel Osment, Aquaman with his lame ass fish tales, and Kevin Costner with his freaky gills and webbed feet and tedious monologues, because dry land is not a myth up at Casa Locutus. But don't worry, I invited you all to my beach party. I emailed the invitation to Dory... oh, she forgot to tell you? What an unexpected turn of events. I guess your punk asses better keep yourselves entertained by finding Nemo again, huh?
Unfortunately no sea coast for me in the foreseeable future. The northern Italian Adriatic coast is fucked though if this projection is correct (and they don't build any sea walls or so), and it's interesting that the Crimean could become an island.
Oh, the perpetual smugness of the unsoggy and not-drownded landlubber rears it's decidedly moisture free head! May you be divebomed by incontinent gannets and have barnacles attack your house.
Do you want some sea salt to go with your whine and cheese? ProTip: It's all around you, so help yourself. Sorry, I don't bother paying attention to you and the other mer-folk until it's Shark Week. You're much more entertaining when you're peacefully floating on the surface of the ocean, blissfully unaware that you're about to get a Great White colonoscopy.
My place will be flooded somewhere between a 4m and 5m rise. I live right on the other side of a levee next to a large river, so this is not unexpected. The river has never flooded here as far as I'm aware, but who knows what could happen. Luckily, I am moving in a few months and my new home will be safe until about 10m. So not much better I guess, but this is what happens when you live in a valley connected to a large delta system.
I think our sturdy ships will confound their dastardly attacks. How remiss of you not to think of such a simple solution. In any case, I've always wanted to strike a Captain Morgan Pose on deck as I gaze thoughtfully into the middle distance. Also, coastline raiding. Booty and whatnot. Yarr.
At 20 meters I'll be ok, but take it up to 30 and I'll have to move a couple of hundred meters. At 60, I'm camping out at the office.
Ha! OK, that was funny. And on that note, I bow out gracefully having run out of insults. Also, bottle of rum and stuff.
The rather suggestive picture on the left was from a billboard for a naval museum or something similar. It was posted here a few years ago, and prompted me to use the Captain Morgan pic for the threadbomb. It's been sitting on my HD, unused for years, until today, when it returned to have its vengeance.
At 50 m, I'd be living on an island with most of my city underwater. At 60 m, I'd have to move elsewhere.
Ha! Fucking Romagna. They deserve that. At +13 meters, my town will be beachfront propriety. Bye-bye, Romagna. Hello, new Adriatic coast. My Adriatic coast. Costa dell'Iguana. Tonanteville. Marina dell'Iguana. Cooleddieburg... Cooleddieburg?
I just checked my boyhood hometown. My old neighborhood would be dry, but the town would have hell of a harbor.
My home would not be under water until a 7 - 8 meter rise, but I live on a peninsula that would turn into an island at about 4 meters.
So if the polar caps melt, this confirms my safety... and the beach is only an hour away instead of two now.