Seven Words in TNG

for only 39.95 - but if you order

 

now, we'll throw in a bonus disc

 

containing sound effects from every television program

 

ever set in outer space! Included are

 

97,542 effects covering everything from

 

whistling winds to chime-sounding things that

 

sends shivers up your spine every time

 

you hear them...so order now! Before

 

Guinan had a chance to order, Ten-Forward

 

erupted in a greasy, nasty orgy. She

 

had wanted new music for the bar

 

but couldn't decide on hard rock or

 

Heavy metal, confusing the slash fiction writers

 

who always imagined that Ten Forward orgies

 

as opportunities for selling insurance. Never welcome,

 

Pakled insurance salesmen were the most annoying

 

aliens to be admitted into the Insurance

 

industry since the Xindi Reptillians in 2165.

 

State Farm, Allstate, and Prudential all refused

 

to allow Pakleds to become full members