TNG Caption This! 306: Second Captions

Captain's Log Stardate 46587: I'm suddenly nostalgic for Ode to Spot...




Data: ...and that is the intersection on the ven diagram between those who wish you had directed Star Trek: Nemesis and those who have seen Thunderbirds.




Tom and Will: *Singing* Sexy... everything about me's so sexy!



Troi: Jesus Beverly, maybe you shouldn't use the love swing for so long if it's going to leave your arms like that.




Tom: Hey... Ira... sorry to have accidentally pushed you down there. Tell you what, if I help you out will you write a follow up episode to Defiant for me?

I can wait all day whilst you think of the right answer.

 

CRUSHER: I don't see how this will help me resolve my issues with Jean-Luc.

TROI: Use the puppet Beverly

 

LeadHead, TFTW.



Troi: "You know, Will, we could do this on weekends and make a little extra pocket money. A bar mitzvah here...a koon-ut-kal-if-fee there..."

 

Riker: Any requests?
Troi: Nightbird!
Riker: Any requests at all?
Troi: Night-bird!
Riker: <flips her the bird>
<Audience applauds>

 

Crusher's rendition of Gangnam Style was not well received.

 

When the Enterprise players decided to stage the musical "Cats," Crusher campaigned emphatically for the part of Grizabella.

 

Riker: Worf! Get me a magazine. That's an order!
Data: I am curious as to how that would be an effective solution to our predicament.
Riker: Data, it's a bug. I'm going to smush it.

 

RIKER: First, how did the monkey get a phaser? Second, why is there a monkey on the Enterprise?

 

Data: Glass floors, sir.
Riker: Highly evolved alien civilization.

 

Thanks for the win!



New Cantina scene from Abram's upcoming Star Wars movie.


Data: Up there, Commander.
Riker: Hot, dusty, and dangerous. Worf?
Worf: There is no honor in dieing in a power conduit, let's wait for engineering.
Lt. from engineering (entering): Shit!


Thomas: I've been marooned alone for 8 years, what's your excuse?

 

Riker squatted in the only outhouse within 300 light years, and passed his hand noiselessly through what he now realized was a roll of holographic toilet paper. Then he remembered the date: April 1st.

"La Fooooooorge!!!"

 

Riker took one look at the bridge and shouted "No way, I ain't going out like Kirk!"

 

Thomas <blows bosun whistle>: Dumbass on the bridge!

 

Thanks for the win!


Thomas: Red makes you look fat.



Riker: That's not very funny.
Data: Indeed, I can think of many more amusing captions.


Wilson! No!

 

Captain's log, Stardate 45345.6. If my crew gave the Enterprise only half the attention they give that remote-control glider they found in young Mr. Crusher's trash can, we'd be in almost decent shape.





Captain's log, Stardate 45345.6. When Beverly became enamored with alternative medicine, Deanna erroneously sensed an interest in the incantations of witch doctors. Where's managed care when you need it?





Data: "I am finally detecting that rare fly. Please everyone, do not open your mouths."

 

How many Starfleet officers does it take to change a light bulb?

 

It was easy to tell Will and Thomas Riker apart because Thomas was no match for Will on the "gravitas pose."

 

Thanks to everyone for your patience! At this point, it's looking like Monday or Tuesday night is the earliest I'll be able to get this next one online.

Thanks again for bearing with me!

 

Will: So... Counselor Troi...

Tom: You think she would...?

Will: *makes thrusting motions with two fingers into his own mouth*

Tom: Right but... I mean not in that hole.

Will: Of course of course.