The Editing Room does Star Trek Into Darkness (spoilers)

Discussion in 'Star Trek Movies: Kelvin Universe' started by Candlelight, May 30, 2013.

  1. Candlelight

    Candlelight Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2000
    Location:
    New Zealand
    http://www.the-editing-room.com/star-trek-into-darkness.html

    My favourite bits:

     
  2. beamMe

    beamMe Commodore

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2011
    Location:
    Europa
    Well, have your eye-sight checked.
     
  3. M'Sharak

    M'Sharak Definitely Herbert. Maybe. Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2002
    Location:
    Terra Inlandia
    Perhaps you want to address that to the writer by submitting a comment at the bottom of the parody/review page? It's sort of a pointless drive-by, when posted here.
     
  4. beamMe

    beamMe Commodore

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2011
    Location:
    Europa
  5. Candlelight

    Candlelight Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2000
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Having worked in a lot of 3D television production I find this comment amusing.
     
  6. Admiral Buzzkill

    Admiral Buzzkill Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2001
    Well, if those are the best bits it's not very clever.
     
  7. OpenMaw

    OpenMaw Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    May 26, 2013
    Location:
    Everett, Washington
    Come on guys. Lighten up and have a good chuckle. There's no need for the new school, or the old school, to be so wound up and serious business all the time. :lol:
     
  8. Admiral Buzzkill

    Admiral Buzzkill Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2001
    There's no need to pretend that stupid and unfunny is funny just to be sporting, either.
     
  9. OpenMaw

    OpenMaw Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    May 26, 2013
    Location:
    Everett, Washington
    Certainly, but I don't think one needs to be unduly hostile about it, either. :)
     
  10. Squiggy

    Squiggy FrozenToad Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2006
    Location:
    Left Bank
    Calling something unfunny "unfunny" isn't unduly hostile. It's accurate.
     
  11. BillJ

    BillJ The King of Kings Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2001
    Location:
    America, Fuck Yeah!!!
    I think some of these folks need to try and make their own $200 million dollar films before talking poorly about others work. :shrug:
     
  12. OpenMaw

    OpenMaw Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    May 26, 2013
    Location:
    Everett, Washington
    Well, accuracy implies that it's something that can be objectively measured. It's certainly an honest and valid opinion, though. I was speaking in a more general sense. It was a mistake to quote Admiral Buzzkill on my second reply, as it wasn't specifically addressed at countering his opinion specifically. I've simply noticed that there are some who refuse to take even the slightest hint of criticism against Trek (new or old) and become overtly defensive, even when said criticism is done solely for humor's sake. (Whether it is of quality or not, is another matter entirely.) I sensed a mood forming over the thread already. My mistake. :)
     
  13. Cyke101

    Cyke101 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2007
    That's not exactly what criticism is about, however. Take the late Roger Ebert, for example -- regarded as the world's greatest film critic, but when he took a stab at screenwriting, he sucked, and he owned up to this shortcoming. It didn't take away from his critical thinking or writing skills, but it just goes to show that the critics and creators aren't quite interchangeable.
     
  14. Cryogenic

    Cryogenic Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2008
    Another great dissection from The Editing Room; or, er, abridgement.

    One of the best parts of new, big-budget movies coming out is that you know it means one of these puppies is soon to follow. ;)

    These efforts may be largely tongue-in-cheek, or not, but a lot of the criticisms hit home, for me.

    And I also think one can pick up a few decent insults from some of the screenplays/parodies, including this one. :rommie:

    Anyway, some of my favourite bits (which, I'll admit, is basically half the screenplay -- but whatever :p ):

    Glad they got in a reference to Kirk hanging off ledges in the first movie. His constant scrapes with death in contrived action scenarios are exceeded only by the number of times the laws of physics (or biology) are needlessly -- lazily -- violated.

    Again, as in the last movie, Kirk playing the preternatural hero/supreme intellect -- by having everyone else be dumber than a bag of bricks. And what amazing, split-second timing!

    Nice how the writer picked up on the barbarous shallowness of this one -- mind melds (and personal freedoms) now mean nothing. A person is about to cark it (what happened to 23rd Century medicine, BTW?) and Spock can just suck their soul.

    Yes, what the hell is up with distances/flight time in this film? It was bad enough warping to Vulcan in six minutes in the last movie, but these bizarre developments run roughshod over the fabric of credibility. Even leaving aside transwarp beaming, the characters might as well wear ruby slippers or click their fingers when they want to get somewhere ... by fiat of the writers, anything is possible, no matter how incoherent or stupid.

    Yup, I hate this reboot's Uhura -- she's petulant, whiny, abrupt, abrasive, and plain contemptible. I despised the way she condescended to her roommate and bossed Spock around ("No, I'm assigned to the Enteprise") in the last movie; and here, if anything, she's worse.

    Zero thought was apparently exerted on the matter of quite how the Enterprise might actually evade detection by a militaristic space-faring race when parked inches from its homeworld -- and with Sulu blatantly giving away their presence with a transmission, this whole story aspect is simply ludicrous, IMO. But then, so much of the film is similarly inept, in my view, that one piece of idiocy blurs into another.

    The timing of everything in these J.J. Abrams films is the epitome of contrived -- the plotting is so frequently ridiculous that they're impossible to buy into on virtually any level, IMO.

    A perfect demonstration of how creatively bankrupt Abrams and his team really are. Of course, some tension is injected into this scene, and I use that word advisedly, when Kirk's helmet begins to crack, because even marginally-advanced materials don't exist in Abrams' universe, except when they do. I don't know which action sequence is the more lame or pointless.

    I love this evisceration, too.
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2013
  15. M'Sharak

    M'Sharak Definitely Herbert. Maybe. Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2002
    Location:
    Terra Inlandia
    The Editing Room worked a couple of references to it into their parody script for that movie, too. I thought shyaporn's take on the "Kirk hanging by his fingertips" trope had the advantage of being more succinct (and perhaps funnier, for not having taken itself at all seriously.)
     
  16. Cinema Geekly

    Cinema Geekly Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2012
    Unless of course you watched the last movie in which you would surmise that Starfleet probably wouldn't rebuild a large chunk of their ships in 365 days destroyed in the previous movie.

    And instead the head of Starfleet who thinks they are now in a weakened position against the Klingons, against whom Weller thinks war is inevitable pours his resources into a huge battle ship instead of rebuilding all those peace loving hippie ships.

    I mean outside of that yeah it makes no sense.
     
  17. Shazam!

    Shazam! Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    This is serious business.
     
  18. Shaka Zulu

    Shaka Zulu Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2013
    Location:
    Bulawayo Military Krral
    Myself, I'd love to see these people satirize most of the over-praised independent films like this one, but I know deep down that it'll never happen. It would be interesting to see, though.