Shatner as Kirk is Too Frakin' Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

EDIT: The thread title was edited (or soon will be) by a moderator. I'm not such a pansy that a little strong language makes me cry like a little girl (who probably watches "Voyager"). But whatever.

Okay, let's get to it.

No, this is NOT another "bring back Shatner" or "Shatner must be in this film" or "I want to do a motorboat on Shatner's manboobs" thread.

We all know that Kirk (whenever the word Kirk is used in this thread, it is synonymous with Shatner) is an all around hero and badass. (If you disagree with this statement, please exit this thread quietly through your back arrow. No one ever needs know you were here.)

But I had forgotten how unbelievably kick-ass he is. I've been rewatching the films recently (and the occasional episode) and even in the shittiest stories, Kirk is just too fucking cool for school. **

Even when he's over-the-top outrageous, he still makes you want to say: "Kirk is the man!" **

You want to run right up to your computer screen (because your piece of shit DVD player crapped out on you in the middle of a an episode of "Oz" and you are forced to use the DVD player on your computer) and kiss Kirk right on the lips even though you are not gay. He is so fucking cool that he brings you right up to the line of straight and gay and makes you lift one leg over to the gay side of the line and get your big toe really close to touching the gay side but still keeping your other foot firmly planted on the straight side, and if your friends weren't around, you might even consider jumping all the way over to the gay side of the line for just a millisecond and then jumping back over to the straight side and then washing your feet in scalding hot water, just in case.

So again, I can live without Shatner is this film. That's all fine and good. But this Pine kid has seriously got his work cut out for him. He may play a decent character/hero, but he will never be able to nail that character the way Shatner did. And I'm not talking about an impression or imitation. I'm talking about the way "Shatner owns that character" (to borrow a phrase from Ronald D. Moore on the "Star Trek: Generations" commentary track).

Hell, maybe that's the reason they decided to focus on Spock and keep Kirk in the background on this one. Because they know that there's no way they could ever pull off starting with Kirk.

Even Orci -- in response to why they did not use Pine's voice in the audio for the teaser trailer (instead of Nimoy's) -- said that it would have been presumptous for them to use Pine's voice before he had proven himself to the audience.

Good luck, buddy. I'm sure you'll do an alright job. I've seen some of your other films. You are a good-looking, seemingly nice dude. But you have next to zero stage presence. This isn't meant to knock you, but you are going to have to take some serious intravenous charisma injections before you walk out onto that soundstage and pretend to be Kirk.

Good luck! :thumbsup:

** Anyone who disagrees that Shatner/Kirk is the ultimate badass and can never be duplicated is either a sissy girl or insanely jealous of him.

Edit: Capt. Janeway would disapprove of swearing. All forum participants will soon be issued WWJD bracelets and be required to wear them before being allowed entrance to the Trek XI forum.

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

best pro-Shat post in a long time.

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

[Venkman] Sam's gone bye-bye Egon, what've you got?[/Venkman]

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

Moderator #1 - NOT editing title.

Buck up, gang.

(although this moderator, for one, was strongly tempted to edit out the motorboat on Shatner's man-boobs bit )

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

She watches "Deep Space Nine."

She's tough!

Anybody that messes with her has to go through me. Not that they would need to go through me... because she's so damn tough!

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

^

Actually, moderating this forum has made me alot tougher than has 7 seasons of DS9.

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

You can't have that in here. It's a violation of continuity to have a with bumps on his head in this forum. Damn it, if they let into discussions of this movie next thing you know there will be Andorians with their antennae growing out of the fronts of their skulls and you've got trouble, my friend, right here in River City.

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

Just put on a pink tutu and get it over with, Bailey.

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

A fair point; but I think Quinto has his work cut just as high - Nimoy's very presence in the film will be a constant reminder to the audience of that other Spock, while it'll be up to their memories (or lack thereof) to conjure up Bill Shatner.

Karl Urban, as the Kiwi who I mainly know as Eomer in LOTR has to convince me he's that plain talking American country doctor who we all know and love. That's the hardest; I've seen many spoofs and fan recasts over the years and while the Spocks were frequently dead-on, and the Kirks a bit understandably hammy, most McCoys have just missed the character completely. (Case in point: Anyone remember that Star Trek special with Kirk, Spock and McCoy wandering around Earth circa 1999 as various clips played? Spock was good, Kirk was appropriately hamfisted, and the McCoy guy had no idea of how to do McCoy).

Course, Pine is still Our Hero and Leading Man. I'm not saying it's easy for him, but I don't think he's got the hardest job.

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

Motorboat! Btbtbtbtbtbtthpth!

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

I agree 100% The Shat is a hard act to follow.

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

All Quinto has to do is act like a robot. And a heterosexual. Big whoop!

Anybody can do that.

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

One warning for indirectly flaming PKTrekGirl.

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

She dodged it, flawlessly.

Who's next?

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

I really wish I knew why the hell everyone keeps blathering about Chris Pine being cast as Kirk when my script CLEARLY states that Kirk is being played by Matthew Lillard.

I mean come on guys use some common sense.

Chris Pine's character in smoking aces was killed last year.

This is the exact same reason that shatner is not in the movie.

Get real.

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

Cogs...that was a nice rant!!!

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

It's my way.

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

Re: Kirk has power to turn straight men gay.

Never gave it much thought. Have to agree though.

Cogley, your disturbing avatar notwithstanding. That thing has the power to turn a gay man straight. I don't know how I know these things, but I do.

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

I am also of the opinion that The Shat is indeed The Man. So much so that he's got a tattoo on his rosy arsecheeks that confirms the legal status of his truly righteous The Man-osity.

Yes, Monsieur LePine has a lot to live up to. It's going to be a very tough job and I hope he does it. Shatner (bless his rosy arsecheeks) may be The Man, but I'm not bothered that he's not in the movie. I'm firmly on the "Damn, I'm looking forward to this movie!" side of the fence.

 

Re: Shatner as Kirk is Too Fucking Cool! Good Luck, Pine!

Linguistic curiosity:
Pine in French is one of the many slang terms meaning dick...
Ergo, the Shat is an ass, the Pine is a dick.