"I, Mudd" Line-by-Line!

KIRK: It seems we're going to take a little trip.

Four days later...

KIRK: Captain's log. Stardate 4513.3. After having been taken over by an android, the Enterprise has been under way at warp seven for four days. Now we are entering orbit around a planet which has never been charted.

 

Norman: Captain Kirk. The following individuals will be transported down to our planet. Yourself, science officer, medical officer, communications officer and navigator.

 

KIRK: Any meetings or discussions can be held aboard the Enterprise.

 

Norman: If you do not come with me, you engines will be destroyed and you will be trapped her in orbit forever.

 

KIRK: I must say that's a gracious invitation.

 

Norman: There is a word, among us, there is no corresponding meaning, but it seems to mean something to you humans.

 

KIRK: And what is that word?

 

Norman: Please.

Minutes later, Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Uhura, Chekov and Norman beam into a chamber.

Norman: Our planet is what you would classify as K-type, adaptable for humans by the use of pressure domes and life support systems.

Norman walks up to a door and encounters two identical women next to it.

Norman: I have brought them.

 

ALICE 1: He is waiting.

 

Alice: If you will follow us, please.

The door opens and the Alice's lead the Enterprise crew into the throne room where 2 more Alice's stand next to the throne, seated on the throne is...

 

Kirk: I don't believe it.

 

Harry Mudd: Welcome aboard, Kirk. It's been a long time, eh?

 

Kirk: Harry Mudd.

 

Mudd: Well, to be absolutely accurate laddybuck, you should refer to me as Mudd the First, ruler of this entire sovereign planet.

 

Kirk: Ruler? Harry, I want control of my ship returned immediately. We have no intention of staying as your guests.

 

Mudd: Well, I'm afraid there's a bit of a problem there.

 

Kirk takes out his communicator.

Kirk: Kirk to Enterprise.

 

Mudd: Alice.

 

Kirk: Kirk to Enterprise.

Alice takes Kirk's communicator and crushes it with her bare hand.

 

MUDD: Now, now, now, now, Jamie boy, let's have no unauthorized communications.