Things people often say you find amusing...

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Warped9, Sep 29, 2013.

  1. JoeZhang

    JoeZhang Vice Admiral Admiral

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    "It went down like a lead balloon" - wouldn't a lead balloon go down really really well?
     
  2. trekkiedane

    trekkiedane Admiral Admiral

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    Speaking of commercial posters: Homemade.

    Ah, I see, so your employees made it in their homes?!?!?
     
  3. publiusr

    publiusr Admiral Admiral

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    Some jargon is rather funny. Contracts to let. Patients don't show a wound to doctors, they "present." This that or other tech called a piece of kit, etc.
     
  4. Sam_I_Am

    Sam_I_Am Captain Captain

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    Well, when a balloon goes down, it means the air rushes out of it, but if it were made out of lead, it wouldn't go down at all.

    I don't think it's about it falling (down) to the ground.
     
  5. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Jumbo Shrimp. :guffaw:
     
  6. scotpens

    scotpens Professional Geek Premium Member

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    Right, that's how I've always understood it. However, if you hyphenate it as near-miss, the meaning changes. It becomes like "near-tragedy" or "near-accident," in which near is an adverb meaning almost. In that case, near-miss really does mean that two objects "nearly missed" each other -- or, in other words, they hit each other.

    So, when using that phrase, avoid the hyphen and you'll be fine.

    Thank you, George Carlin. ;)

    Another modern oxymoron -- thanks to television talk shows -- is "guest host."

    Well, which are you? Make up your mind and then come back to the party!
     
  7. JarodRussell

    JarodRussell Vice Admiral Admiral

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    A "near miss" could also be a miss that was pretty close. As opposed to a far miss that wasn't so close. I don't think it depends on a hyphen.

    A "guest host" is exactly that. Someone who hosts a show one time. Same thing as "guest star".
     
  8. Vendikarr

    Vendikarr Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Like when you get a new car, you have a baby with that "new baby" smell.
     
  9. scotpens

    scotpens Professional Geek Premium Member

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    Except that talk TV has had regular guest hosts -- like when Joan Rivers and Jay Leno used to fill in for Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show.

    Scientists have discovered the preserved remains of "dwarf mammoths." Isn't that just a regular-sized elephant? :p
     
  10. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    "He gone!" - Ken Harrelson (White Sox TV guy) after an opposing batter strikes out

    (Note that this is pretty much the only thing Harrelson ever says that is actually funny, as opposed to him being just a colossal douchebag.)
     
  11. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    And why isn't there any blue food?





    ,
     
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2013
  12. auntiehill

    auntiehill The Blooness Premium Member

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    Carlin---"Everyday Expressions."
    [yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHhYLJMi7CE[/yt]

    :guffaw:
     
  13. RJDiogenes

    RJDiogenes Idealistic Cynic and Canon Champion Premium Member

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    ^^ I love George Carlin. :D

    Speaking of food, I was at the supermarket in the frozen foods section and they had "crust-less chicken pot pie." Wouldn't that be just soup or stew?

    Ouch. That's unfortunate.

    Maybe the expression has evolved over the years (like people saying "based off" now instead of "based on"-- which is another example, I suppose), but when I was a kid we used to say "went over like a lead balloon."
     
  14. JarodRussell

    JarodRussell Vice Admiral Admiral

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    And they still only filled in for someone else. That's why they were still guest hosts.
     
  15. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    In other words:
    [yt]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPwrodxghrw[/yt]
     
  16. kirsten187

    kirsten187 Napoleonic Power Monger Admiral

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    HA! I had the "do you work here" question too when I worked somewhere that had a standard uniform. Let me see, the majority of the people in this store have the same green top on...all identical but no I don't work here - I just wanted to fit in :guffaw:
     
  17. rhubarbodendron

    rhubarbodendron Vice Admiral Admiral

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    well, there's always the difference whether you work there or are employed there. While in order to do the first, it's required you are the latter, the opposite doesn't necessarily apply... :D
     
  18. kirsten187

    kirsten187 Napoleonic Power Monger Admiral

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    Haha - true :D
     
  19. rhubarbodendron

    rhubarbodendron Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I have my moments :D
     
  20. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Well, I've lived long enough to have approached a person or two in a store, who's wearing a colored apron with a name tag, and asked them where such-and-such is, only to have them giggle and say, "Oh, I don't work here. I just came to shop after work." D'oh! It warrants maybe a brief chuckle or two to laugh with them before moving on.

    Another one: they're in uniform, carrying a clipboard or other gear, and checking merchandise on the shelves, but, no, they don't actually work there, either. They're on the job, yes, but they're just a delivery person, or some other third party checking inventory in some capacity!

    So, I think it's perfectly reasonable to open with, "Excuse me, do you work here?" Sometimes, I put it in a subtly rhetorical tone, for breaking the ice.