TOS Caption Contest #277: That Which Captions

Discussion in 'Star Trek - The Original & Animated Series' started by LeadHead, Sep 16, 2013.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    The Normandy SR-2
    Hello everyone, time for a new contest!


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Shameless" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Fantastic Communications Systems!" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Everybody lies, even Vulcans" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Keep your eyes on the Road" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Starfleet Tech Support" Award, going to:

    Our Photoshop Award, goes to:


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    And now, we begin a new contest!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. BoredShipCapt'n

    BoredShipCapt'n Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2012
    Location:
    Stage 9 forever
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    Kirk: "Everyone concentrate. We are trying to contact the spirit of Captain Christopher Pike...."

    Bones: "He's not dead, Jim."


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    Spock: "Farting contests are illogical. However, that was most impressive."


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    Kirk: "I've seen this one. This is the one where Jeannie's sister steals the bottle."


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    Bones: "Jim, are you out of your mind? You have to wait for someone else to kill the redshirts."


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    Scotty: "Someone ate all the Chiclets out of the middle one, Mr. Spock."

    Spock: "Fortunately, I carry a small supply."
     
  3. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    The Normandy SR-2
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    Kirk: Oh holy rock, we pray to thee...

    Sulu: How much cordrazine did you give him Doctor?

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    Scotty: Mister Spock, this is very complicate machinery, I dinnae think you can fix it with a toy you bought at the dollar store.

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    Kirk: It's just been revoked.

    McCoy: Jim, he really didn't set you up for that line.


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    Spock: As you can see Captain, the Kalandans made the same tragic mistakes in fashion as humans did in the 20th Century.

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    Kirk: Kirk to Enterprise. We're trapped on the purple planet. It clashes with our uniforms, beam us up!
     
  4. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    KIRK: Check again Sulu, no way is this planet made from plywood and styro foam.

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    SPOCK: Did you try hitting it?

    SCOTTY: Is that your expert recommendation?

    SPOCK: Yes.

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    SULU: I love this planet it sparkles

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    KIRK: I'd hit it.

    SPOCK: This is not news.

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    KIRK: Scotty, I think you transported us into Princes' bedroom.
     
  5. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    Confederation of Earth
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    Losira: Greetings, travelers. I wish to speak to you about a glorious aspect of Kalandan society. We call it "Amway."

    Kirk: Now I know why they went extinct.
     
  6. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    TFTW, LeadHead!

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    Kirk: "Another species that covers their belly-buttons! Mr. Spock, I'm beginning to think there's some kind of kinky in the galaxy that we don't fully understand."
     
  7. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    SPOCK: Forget it, Captain. They never look like their profile picture.
     
  8. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    Confederation of Earth
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    Losira: Help me, Obi Vulcanobi. You're my only hope.
     
  9. Avro Arrow

    Avro Arrow Vice Admiral Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
    TFTW, LeadHead!

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    Kirk: Captain's log, supplemental. We have unknowingly beamed down to the site of a great tragedy. I don't know what has transpired here, but the surface of the planet is covered with the corpses of dead Horta.
    Sulu: Um, sir, these are just rocks...

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    Losira: Welcome to the Kalandan Oasis Resort. Please enjoy this three-hour presentation on why owning a timeshare is right for you!

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    Kirk: Yes, I'd like to make a return. I specifically ordered the Zachary Quinto Mr. Spock cut-out!
     
  10. Sir Rhosis

    Sir Rhosis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2001
    Location:
    Cincinnati, OH
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    KIRK: Why does she keep saying "Purrrrrfect" for?
     
  11. Maurice

    Maurice Snagglepussed Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Location:
    Real Gone
    Thanks for the win!

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    BONES: I got five pieces of candy!
    SULU: I got a chocolate bar!
    KIRK: I got a rock.


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    KIRK: Captain's log, stardate, 1984.18. We have discovered The Color Purple.
    SPOCK: Is that Danny Glover?


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    SCOTT: Seriously, Mr. Spock, you'll never need more than 64K of RAM!


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    KIRK: I know what you're thinking: "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself.
    SULU: Who's he talking to?
    BONES: Himself.


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    KIRK: Why the flap over her navel?
    SPOCK: That's what Barbara Eden asked.
     
  12. Avro Arrow

    Avro Arrow Vice Admiral Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
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    Kirk: Gentlemen, we've been stranded on this planet for eight days. When I go through the effort of putting together a nice dinner of straw, I expect you to stow your complaints and eat!
     
  13. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Kirk: "Eight days stranded down here with no food! You know...I just gotta say...if those idiots at Starfleet Command had just listened to my suggestion for pockets in these pants, we could have at least had some chewing gum or breath mints or--"
    McCoy: "Let it go, Jim."
     
  14. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
    :lol::lol:
     
  15. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    KIRK: We've got straw and rocks. Still no fire. Search the database again. We're missing something.
     
  16. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    Confederation of Earth
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    Spock: Mr. Scott, I fail to see why you have summoned me to this vending machine. The emergency channel is not to be misused.

    Scotty: Borgas frat, laddie! The wee bastard's out of reconstituted haggis!
     
  17. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    SCOTTY: Poor Louie, God bless him... he's not with us anymore.
     
  18. Avro Arrow

    Avro Arrow Vice Admiral Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2003
    Location:
    Canada
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    Scott: Aye, sir, that's the last of them. We've finally managed to purge from the ship's computer every last copy of your rendition of The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins...
     
  19. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Location:
    T'Girl
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    BONES: Get control of yourself Jim, it's just a little spider.

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    Kirk: You're right Spock, she would have made a much better choice for Number One in the first pilot.

    Spock: He should have came inside with the other two prior to the ship passing through the rings.

    :)
     
  20. SciFi75

    SciFi75 Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2003
    Location:
    Taylor, MI
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    Kirk: Gentlemen, it would appear that we are between a rock and a hard place.

    McCoy: That was funny three days ago, Jim.