All right the next contest! There were some great entries in the last one but with DS9 you can't go wrong with captioning! So without further adieu... (Captioner's note: Triskelion, I'm not sure what kind of drugs you're taking or whether your account has been hijacked by an ad-bot, but whatever you're doing it is working!) Again those were some great entries people and congrats to the newcomers to! It's always good to see some new faces in these contests! /// /// /// In this week's contest the theme is blind faith, explore the theme or ignore it I don't care, I want some smokin' captions from you all! You know the drill people, let's get to it!
Sisko: Are you telling me you have wasted the last couple of years writing slash? Quark: You’ll see -- I’ll show you -- that when the chips are down, these uh… civilized people, they’ll buy anything! Odo: Old blue eyes is back... Quark: Relax there is nothing to fear. If I screw up we painlessly vaporize. Hanok: I thought Ferengis were afraid of death? Quark: It's pain we mostly fear, that and destitution. Bashir: No Worf, these are NOT warrior's darts!
Thanks for the win! Sisko: You quoted me as saying I wanted war with the Dominion. Jake: First rule of journalism, the headline gets you noticed, not the story. Sisko: You quoted me as saying Kai Winn is a bitch. Jake: You really did say that, dad. Quark: Odo, I'm getting sick of this fascist crap. As many times as I've been in here, you've never once gotten me a lawyer! Kira: What's this place called? Odo: Las Vegas. I never pictured a Bajoran resistance fighter and a Founder exile spending their time here. Vic: The West rules the universe! Hanok: I feel bad. I sold the Jem'Hadar this armor piercing warhead that was supposed to explode on impact. Quark: I feel bad too, I sold the Federation this ablative armor that was supposed to keep it from doing that. Bashir: Strategic Operations officer? O'Brien: What's that even supposed to do? Worf: Boost your ratings.
SISKO: Aww, that's so adorable, you wrote yourself an article. Did you do it all by yourself? JAKE: Yes! SISKO: I'm putting this up on the replicator. QUARK: You know if you didn't arrest me so much you might actually catch me on something actually worth prosecuting me for. KIRA: I can't believe this Terran 20th century retro phase has lasted twelve years. ODO: I know, it's like all humans ever refer to is popular entertainment from between 1950 and 1990. It's getting kind of annoying. KIRA: I like their 22nd century entertainment a lot better but you never hear about it. QUARK: So to answer your question, inter-species mating is kind of like that. WORF: If Federation officers have no salary, how can you afford to spend all your time at a Ferengi bar? BASHIR: Oh, we don't pay. The senior staff has an arrangement with Quark, why do you think he gets away with everything? O'BRIEN: Don't tell anyone.
SISKO: Looks like summer school for you Jake. ROM: Two months, brother? QUARK: It was worth it to see that bowl of jello go down like...a bowl of jello.
TFTW, Ln X! Jake: Dad, you told me you had complete faith in me when you asked me to do a profile piece of you for the Federation News Service. Sisko: That was before I even read it! Quark: I'm telling you, you'd really make a killing if you charged rent on these cells. Rule of Aquisition #9, Odo, opportunity plus instinct equals profit. Odo: In that case, Quark, you had better start saving up your Gold Pressed Latinum, considering all the time you spent in here. Quark: I was just trying to give you some advice, Odo! Odo: Rule of Acquisition 59, Quark, free advice is seldom cheap. Kira: This evening is so wonderful, Odo, thank you! Vic: ♫ ♪With each word your tenderness grows, tearing my fear apart, and that laugh that wrinkles your nose♫ ♪ Kira: Oh, no, he didn't! Quark: A giant light on a missile fired in space? What is that, so it doesn't get lost? How much did that cost you? See, you have to consider that, I bet I can make non-light up missiles for half the cost. Worf: Now, if you'll excuse me gentlemen... Worf Leaves Bashir: Is it just me, or did Commander Worf keep calling me Wesley? I wonder what he means by that. O'Brien: It's a term we used on the Enterprise to describe an annoying know-it-all.
TFTW, Ln X! And the kind words! The voices! The voices~! Jake: You want a light bulb? Sisko: Zip it. Jake: Just sayin'. I can go replicate one right now for free. Quark: Did you hear about the asteroid miner's daughter? Odo: No. Did she come in on the last shuttle? Quark: How is it you are still employed? Kira: So how does your communicator work when you shapeshift? Odo: Zip it. Alien: Think we can drill a hole peeping into Dax's shower and blame it on the torpedo? Quark: Way ahead of you. O'Brien: Gamera called. He wants his ginormous shell back.
SISKO: So this is your 'Spacebook page'? JAKE: Yeah SISKO: So what's it for? JAKE: I dunno, talking to people, playing games, everything SISKO: Huh... so what does LOL mean again? QUARK: What are you arresting me for this time? ODO: It was all a case of mistaken identity. You're free to go. QUARK: Because I have a legitimate alibi and I- Wait, what? ODO: It wasn't you; you can go. QUARK: You're kidding, right? ODO: Why not? KIRA: Well.... I guess most of it couldn't strictly be classed as 'legal'... QUARK:... Does this belong to you? BEAKNOSE:... Maaaaaybeeeeee...... (*Awkward silence*) BEAKNOSE: Do you get moths on this station? 'Coz if you do you're gonna have a hell of a big problem O'BRIEN: Just keep smiling; he can smell fear
After months of ignoring Jake's requests, Captain Sisko finally agreed to read his son's latest novel, and let NOTHING distract him.
Jake: C'mon Dad I know you're old-fashioned and all but seriously... You don't know what LOL is? Sisko: It also says here you're friends with... Morn!?! Jake: Yeah that guy is a guru when it comes to social networking.
Miles: See! I told you someone's worse than Wesley! Worf: Dr. Crusher has too much honor than having that bastard boy become genetically engineered.
"The Emissary of the Prophets starts each day by pulling the underwear out of his crack and performing before the bare spaceport window no less than fifty nude jumping jacks to the tune of 'Countin' Flowers on the Wall' by the Andorian Statler Brother Experience. He breaks his fast on fried Cornish game hen and washes it down with a room temperature Fanta Zero. His favorite flavor: 'purple'." ... Fuckin' A. Quark: Dax had me arrested because I stood outside her quarters holding up a boombox. Odo: No, she had you arrested because you were playing "Mmm Bop." Kira: Oh, are you starting to regenerate? Odo: No, why? Kira: Never mind. Quark: That reminds me, Space Mart is having a sale on alien anal probes. Jules: Do you know why Worf is so famous Miles? Miles: He keeps making headlines. Worf: I will kill you where you stand. Miles: Oh give it a rest you big poof.
Sisko: Jake, is it really necessary to watch a 30-second ad before every little article? Jake: I wanted it to look like the professional news sites, Dad! Quark: Ahh... back in my second home! Kira: It's all nice but... the whole Rom thing... Odo: Oh, not again! Just 'cause you betray your friends once and nearly get one executed you've gotta hear about it for months! Quark: I've seen ships blown up, shot to pieces and vaporized but never one that's gotten f****d to death! Worf: Before playing darts, a true Klingon must first perform the B'hul'zeye ritual... O'Brien: You're Russian, Worf... quit fronting.
Ben: I'm thinking of trimming it...so there's one tuft at the front, and I'll shave the rest. What do you think? Jake: I think the mirrors are in the bathroom, Dad. That's my story. "Yeah...I know. But my room's got a roach problem, the Chief said he's take a look soon...and I'll be darned if I'm gonna room up with Rom. Meantime, Odo once said, and I quote, "Well, Quark...you're certainly always welcome here...." Vic: (Singing) Somewhere...beyond the sea... Somewhere...waiting for me... My lover stands on--golden SANDS... And watches the ships That go sail...in'.... Kira: Just had to rub it in, didn't he? In Dominion Space--Torpedoes fire YOU!!! Bashir: Worf--this time, you throw lightly. Worf: Why? O'Brien: You don't want to damage the board. Worf: And don't you do this every time the needle penetrates? Bashir: That's what's supposed to happen! Plunge the whole thing in, you'll disable the darn thing! Worf: Good.
Worf: I do not understand. I thought Ross chased Rachel to the airport? Jules: No, this one was the one when Rachel chased Ross to the airport. Worf: And then she had to go to Yemen? Miles: Oh for Pete's sake. He's not getting it. Worf: Is that when future Ross met someone in the airport and told them a story about some girl? Jules: No! That was Doogie Howser's friend Ted! Miles: Oh - you mean the future Ted who said "I see your bridge and I raise you three bridges." Jules: Not that future Ted! It was another future Ted! Worf: There is only one bridge! One bridge! <Smashes up bar>
Sisko: "Dabo for Dummies?!" Vic: And now, we change the music to more properly correspond with Odo's current thoughts. We will now play "Wild Thang." Quark: This torpedo is terrible! There's no way it could double as a coffin! O'Brien: Commander Worf, this is Doctor Julian Bashir. Worf: Ah, yes. Data informed me that you helped him activate his dreaming program. Bashir: That's right. Worf: Then my honor demands that I kill you for helping to bring about "Phantasms."