TOS caption contest # 268 What's up?

Trelane (OS): "Now, the two females will fight for the man dressed in blue.""
Sulu: "Hey hey hey ... "



Kirk: "My penis is larger than yours."
Rojan : ""My penis is larger than yours."
Kelinda: "Shut up, My penis is larger than both of yours."
Kirk: "Yeah, so ... wait a minute ... what?"

 

Spock: Exercise extreme caution, Captain. The bee colony appears agitated and ready to swarm if provoked.
Kirk: I've...got an idea, Spock.
Girl: It's just a hairdo, you idiot!



Kirk: Just between you, me and the lamppost, who does your 'piece?

 

It is a plethora of gynarchical genera, Captain.

What?

A taxonomy of reproductive antipodes.

Huh?

It is a bevy of distaff soubrettes, Captain.

Huh?

A profusion of fecund pair bond candidates, Captain.

Come again?

An assemblage of conceptive gamines, Captain.

Spit it out, Spock!

That's what she said, Captain.




Rojan: Are those real?
Girl: Klingons.

 

Spock: The Harry Mudd's transvestite is just in front of us with Sulu, capitain.
Kirk: You will not have to warn him Mea, he was not fooled.


Kirk: Of course she's a real woman! Now, give us those crystals, we have to get out at warp factor 9 before you've undressed her!

 

Rojan: "Get away from my woman!"

Kirk: "It's OK. It's my Droit-de-Petraeus."

 

Rojan: "Velour uniform?"
Kirk: "Nope."
Rojan: "Starfleet training?"
Kirk: "No, the fact that I have your girl in my arms is not due to my Starfleet training. But keep guessing! You're getting warmer!"

 

Mea: If you'll excuse me, Captain, I have an appointment with that disintegration chamber over there...

Kirk: Wait! THAT'S why I've been smelling bacon since we've beamed down to this planet?



Kirk: What can I tell you, Rojan? Chicks dig starships...



Sulu: Oooh! Botany's a recreation of mine as well! But what do you mean by "especially if you can smoke it"?

 

Rojan: Welcome to Space Mart. Welcome to Space Mart. Welcome to Space Mart.

Kirk: Reproductive adapters?

Rojan: Checkout aisle. Welcome to Space Mart. Welcome to Space Mart. Welcome to Space Mart....




Nice garnish, but I prefer a cocktail umbrella.

 

KIRK: To answer your questions: Yes and no, you can't join us.

 

Listen Rojan, try and keep the noise down tonight. Your incessant replaying of I'm All Out of Love is just demoralizing.

 

Sulu: Helloooo....

 

Kirk: "You're too late, Rojan. She's learned that one 'tentacle' is enough...with the right man behind it."

 

Kirk: As you can see, I have a lot to be thankful for.

 

Kirk: "You should enjoy this, Kelinda. Your first Earth-style Thanksgiving! Ah, I see the turkey's here!"

 

Spock: Jim, this isn't another lover's quarrel is it?


Kirk: Listen pally I don't think you know the rules of this ship, I'm its captain so I get to erm... sample the women who pass this way.


Sulu: For what you would call love, I would require a man and you my dear sadly lack the relevant parts...

 

Kirk: Ooh! Muscly! Mr Spock, please send this lady to my quarters and tell the chef to prepare his finest cuisine.
Spock: Should I tell McCoy to provide you two with protection as well?
Kirk: Tonight it might not get that far, but tomorrow...


Kirk: Listen you dumb alien I'm gonna spell it out to you: She... beautiful female... Me... Like her... You... Don't get in the way... Me and she... Go back to ship... On ship... Me and she... Hook up... You got all that?

 

McCoy, Uhura, and Sulu (in unison): "Hey, Manti, did you forget about us?"

 

Kirk: "What do you say we play a game and the winner gets the girl? There's this really great little game called 'fizzbin'...."

 

Sulu: "Well, this proves it. Prehistoric starships didn't have phasers....they had rock chuckers."

McCoy: "No more shore leave for you."

Uhura: "Will someone please beam me up...."

 

Girl: "So, you're Mister....Slutu ?"

Sulu: "Um....er....sort of...."