TOS Caption Contest #207: Consultations and Resolutions

Slappy nude beer! Time to get things back on track so let's start with...



Since this really went all over the place, I'll just name them in chronological order, photoshop or not:

Yes, let's! Congratulations to the winners. Maybe in future contests I'll drop some more images from my Star Trek Online exploits, but for this week we have Scotty trying to roll back the odometer, Kirk wanting McCoy to give it to him straight, and one red shirt who's glad he was standing two feet to the left. Enjoy:

 

Scotty: "Aye, the wiring's shot to hell. That'll cost extra."

Spock: "Will my insurance cover it?"

Scotty: "Not bloody likely."



Kirk: "Holy crap! This Photoshop's great!"

McCoy: "Jim, this is the original picture."



Lieutenant: "Damn. He's not going to be in the movie!"

 

Scotty: "Well, I'm verra sorry, Mr. Spock--and I suppose I should be flattered--but I really have to get these circuits repaired now. I'm afraid yer jus' gonna have to find someone else or wait another seven years."




Kirk: "You know what I like about you, Bones? That an old guy like you can take orders from a young guy like me and not let your ego get all bent out of shape over it!"
McCoy: "You know, maybe Sulu and Uhura are right about you."

 

Spock: Mr. Scott, now is not the time for me to sit on your face and inform you of the romantic feelings I harbor for you.



Kirk: Bones, space is disease and danger, wrapped in dark —
McCoy: Hey, that's my line!



Lieutenant: Look at me... I'm Captain Kirk. I wear a girdle to hide my tummy from the ladies.

 

Thanks for the win Rat Boy.



Lieutenant: Dayum Captain Kirk! You got knocked the fuck out!

 

The other security guards begin to giggle.

Lieutenant: He's standing right behind me, isn't he?

 

Scotty: "Been watchin' The Presidio again, Mr Spock?"

Spock: "Clearly, my left thumb is too powerful for you."




Kirk: "It's those Roman-style episodes, Bones. If I don't hold your arms on for a while they'll fall off, just like all those statues."

McCoy: "Well, okay....after all, I'm a doctor, not an arms dealer."

 

"I ain't cleanin' that up, shi...! Wha'd I look like to you, a janitor?!"

Sincerely,

Bill

 

Scotty: "Mr. Spock, ya make a fine 1st officer, but as a do-it-yourself mechanic? Ahk, ya leave much ta be desired."
Spock: "Well, it was indeed my first stereo installation."




Kirk: (singing) "Have I told you... lately... that I love you?"
McCoy: "Saurian brandy blues again, eh Jim?"




Lieutenant: "I can't believe they ordered me instead of that nitwit ensign to mop this sh!t up. 23rd century equality, my @ss!"

 

Nimoy: So let me get this straight, we waited for several episodes for the shuttlecraft to be built, and now the shuttlecraft is gonna get vaporized in the atmosphere?

Doohan: Our budget is well spent, isn't it?




Kirk: Bones don't worry, I'm sure Spock didn't mean what he said.

Spock: Yes I did.

Kirk: Shut up!



Lieutenant: Security to the Bridge.

Kirk: (over comm) Kirk here.

Lieutenant: Scotty's drunk again Sir, and it looks like this time he actually poured the booze into the plasma conduits.

Kirk: (over comm) He got my ship drunk too?!

 

Lieutenant: "Latimer to bridge! I found the Tellerite ambassador, sir! Apparently, he tried to get fresh with Yeoman Rand and she coldcocked the sucker!"

 

Thanks for the win, Rat Boy!


The lieutenant suddenly felt inspired and sang...

"When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me."

Scotty (OS): "Laddie, you're a fine engineer and I'll stand by ya anytime, but do ya hafta break inta song about it?"

.

 

After a few years, red-shirts start to get indifferent to having their friends turned into a pile of goo.

 

(Thanks for the win)

---------------------------------------




Keep your chin up! Dr. King still may contact you, but remember,
you're still just a "red shirt" character and may not be around for much longer.

 

Scotty (OS): "Latimer, push the flashing red button. Quickly!"

 

Latimer: "OK, very funny. Now who's the wise guy?"

 

Kirk: Get ahold of yourself, Bones! You're a doctor, not a manic-depressive!
McCoy: I rue the day I made that my catch-phrase.


Scotty: I've been doin' this for three hours now, Mister Spock. Couldn't I take a wee break?
Mr. Spock: If scraping the consoles clean troubles you, Mr. Scott, perhaps next time you will find a more appropriate place to place your used chewing gum.

 

Kirk: "And who knows? One day you might even be captain."

 

Scotty: The speedometer now reads in kph and I've fitted yellow headlamps, as per your orders.
Mr. Spock: Excellent work Mr Scott, we depart for France.

(I don't know why, but I suddenly thought of these )

 

.

Kirk: "What happen to the Elasian bodyguard?"

Security: "Sheeeeiit Jim, I'z be doin' dat shit an' axe punkass uh queshun, mofo be axin me fo' umm cap.

Kirk: "What ... ?"

Security: "Yo Jim, you frontin me sheeit? Other step back m' grill."

Scotty: "Aye, the universal translator is still off-line."

Mister Spock: "That's okay Captain. I speak jive."