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Old September 22 2007, 12:52 PM   #64
DavidFalkayn
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Re: Star Trek: Shepard; Recovery, Chapter 6

Don't worry about your story being too long. Let it proceed at its own pace--the worst thing you can do is to try to force it into something it isn't. You have a lot of characters and a complex situation--it's going to take a novella/novel length story to tell it. Brevity is important--but so also is properly building up your world and painting a good picture. One of the reasons why authors such as Arthur Conan Doyle and H.P. Lovecraft frequently come across as flowery today is because they were providing the sensual cues in their story that we take for granted in this age of television, CGI, and internet.

Turing to the story now: What we got in this part is some good insights into the character of Ridgeway--how his mind operates and how he's going to turn out as captain. We also got some more character work on Dulak. My main critique here is that you need to give him some flaws and maybe a degree of uncertainty--I think sometimes he comes across as a bit too confident and self assured for a fresh minted ensign--and one from a rather unpopular race to boot. I like the mystery of the 'primitive' Borg and am looking forward to some good insights on Townsend and Tara in the next chapter when they board what's left of that Borg vessel. You've got a good story here--like I said earlier, let it proceed at its own pace and don't sweat the length--we'll be happy to stick around for the ride.
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