Amazing. I love this. It's now in my personal canon.
2 small problems though:
1. Does anyone dream in 3rd person omniscient? I don't think so. The scenes Kirk isn't present for need to be explained.
2. Less of a problem, more of an inconsistency: STar Trek is always careful of not showing external shots during dream sequences, fantasies, or Holodeck episodes. This movie would violate that rule of thumb.
But, yeah, this is an amazing theory and I love it.
I don't think the scenes where Kirk wasn't present would be a problem as a person dosnt always dream about themselves in the action.
however the opening with the bald guy and sybok, and the sybok siege occur before Kirk beds down for the night which create a problem...however there can be an explanation. the entire opening was still set in Kirks dream - the opening is very dreamlike, Kirks ascent and fall from the mountain (falling is a very common dream) he is also saved by his best friend Spock (wearing jetboots) another symbolic dream image, the Scotty & Uhura out of nowhere romance, the 'Paradise Lost' siege with weird cat creature is like something from a dream etc.....which would make everything which occurs before they bed down at the campsite the first ‘level’ of the dream - the bed down and what occurred after would be a ‘dream within a dream.’ The only problem with having Kirk dreaming before he falls asleep at the campsite is Kirk falling from El Capitan would be 'the kick' and have shouldve woken him out of his dream!
unless...we have the opening with Sybok and the bald guy and the mountain climb etc as Kirks dream within a dream...he falls (the kick) is woken up into the normal first stage dream at the campsite...then they bed down and fall asleep and everything that occurs after (including being 'woken' by the shuttle) is a dream within a dream until at the end when they around the campfire again its just a dream (with a marsh 'melon' as his totem
Of course the most rational explanation is the opening, the climb, and the siege were all real world that kirk knew about beforehand (or maybe checked out on his 23rd century smart phone at the campsite) then incorporated that stuff into his bourbon/marsh melon fuelled dream.