: Commander Sisko, have you been studying the historical records I've sent you for a Captain Robau? Apparently, he is somehow able to penetrate the space-time barrier with his, to quote my findings, "Badass Nature."
: Yes sir. It is now my dream to become as badass as him.
: As a Vulcan, I would normally view attempts to emulate such an individual as illogical. However, Captain Robau is so illogical he is, in fact, the most logical thing I have ever encountered. Though, I still have one question.
: Yes, sir?
: How is my Robau impression.
: Decent, sir, though you might try to shave your head. In fact, I've toyed with the idea myself, though Jennifer is not a big fan of the the bald look...
: Why does this holosuite program look less like an actual baseball field and more like a 1990's syndicated sci-fi show soundstage?
: I'm afraid the chief has been literally injured from being poked fun of so often in these caption contests.
: Ouch, it's a good thing I'm above reproach, then. Carry on. Oh, and Doctor?
: Yes, sir?
: You might consider protecting yourself, it seems you are a favorite target of some captioners.
: ...so I said to the girl, "in that case you better wear underwear."
: (to himself)
My plan is working perfectly, they are so focused on how inept Dr. Bashir is in social situations, they will never notice my Batman Gambit
until it's too late!
: ...and then I dressed up as a Bajoran and got you to fall in love with me! Wait a second, if I'm the Bajoran's most hated person and I've done all this to you, why are you laughing with me?
: With you? I'm laughing at you, because the real Kai Winn has been dead for years. I'm a Founder, you stupid solid!