How to make the Romulan War different from the Dominion War? Don't show it.
Have ENT start with the peace treaty and show the personal hardships, struggles and losses the crew faced and how they cope with them in the aftermath. Add to that the reconstruction needed, the newly formed Federation with alien races now having to serve together for the first time ever, the drive to move away from war and conflict towards something greater.
It'd be a far more character-driven series and not so much about cool-looking ships, space battles and catsuits.
While I agree with a character driven series, I don't agree with not showing the war.
The only reason that Valdore's plan was stopped was that the Aenar decided to revolt. Robot ships could have been used and fit into the not seeing or hearing from either side.