Hermione was worse to Ron than Ron was to her, it's just that Hermione was more of a crybaby than Ron (he gets insulted worse, he never cries) and Hermione was Rowling's self-insert character so Rowling took it more personally.
This whole ship war was the direct result of Rowling's laziness anyways, it's always a terrible idea to write only ONE major female character in a mostly male cast. Pairing her up with someone she'd been writing as the sidekick would naturally upset many readers.
If Rowling hadn't written only ONE major female, introduced Luna sooner, reduced Hermione's importance and maintained Ginny as a major character after the second book, the ship wars never would've gotten so bad.
Also, if she'd written from more than just Harry's POV it would've made it clear that Harry really wasn't all that great a lead character. But she probably realized this, which is why she never did it.