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Old January 18 2014, 03:04 AM   #241
GSchnitzer
Co-Executive Producer
 
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Re: Star Trek: Phase II - "Kitumba" Officially Released!

Oh, we listen to all the feedback we get, and we take it to heart.

As I indicated in an earlier post, I actually do go through our script with a fine tooth comb for quality control purposes. I actually do a kind of a combined Bob Justman/Kellam de Forest Research script pass to check for, well, all sorts of things—plot holes, clunky dialogue, mischaracterizations, repetition, series inconsistencies—all sorts of things. Once I provide my feedback to the Senior Executive Producer and the script writer, they either implement my suggestions or they don’t; it’s their call at that point. In the case of “Kitumba,” I provided ten pages of copious script notes. Without boring everyone, here are some of my comments (four of the more than 60 suggestions that I provided) to give a flavor of my review:

“Scene 47

“35. For the sword, can we make it a plot point that the sword Chekov has is Scotty’s from 'Day of the Dove?' Perhaps Scotty runs up at the last minute with a “Here you go, Lad—as you requested” and hands it to Chekov—who passes it off to Kirk. It might explain why there is a sword immediately available aboard ship. Might need to revise Kirk’s line about cutting cake.

“36. Grammatical error. McCoy should say “I’d feel a lot more secure if our Security Chief were carrying real weapons.” (Should properly be subjunctive mood 'were' instead of indicative mood 'was.')

“37. Uhura says that you can carry a sword or a yan. Yan is simply Klingonese for sword, so that’s redundant.

“38. I don’t like McCoy’s “You scare me, woman.” It sounds patronizing and insulting to the black woman. Maybe we can say 'You scare me, Lieutenant.' (It sounds more like McCoy and not as much like [our McCoy actor] Doc John.)”

My point is: we actually do perform a meticulous review of the script; we do look before we leap. Sometimes, for all kinds of reasons, the Senior Executive Producer and script writer may choose to leap anyway. Yes, some of the lines are cheesy--far too cheesy for my taste. But there are vast swaths of our viewers who are not lactose intolerant; they really like the cheese. "That 'corvette' line was just the funniest thing I've ever heard." We understand and accept that our fan base represents infinitely diverse levels of viewing sophistication.

Edit: yes, I did go and scare-up a basket-hilt Claymore sword to match Scotty's from "Day of the Dove" in advance of the shoot.


RCAM wrote: View Post
Maurice wrote: View Post
Just to offer my two cents, frequently the issue is that some posts in this forum cross the line from critique ("I thought her performance was weak") to attack ("she's talentless"), and even when the former is offered, often the counter argument teeters into the latter because people are passionate or/and get their feelings hurt.

I'd venture that we don't going to get much fair critiquing on forums like this. Why? For one thing, members of the productions actively participate in these threads, and many people either shy away from critiquing people they like personally or are overcritical of those they don't. An example I see on this forum all the time is praise for acting or writing that actually isn't even as good as other performances in the same show, but the kudos go to the "popular" kids, or those within earshot, and the reverse is true of those with an ax to grind.
I'm new to the forum, but I've observed this so far as well.

I actually almost feel bad pointing out things I didn't think were done well in these kinds of productions, because I know no one's making money off of them. But at the same time, if the goal is to make something of a high quality that pushes people to reach their potential, the critiques are very valuable (even if they're tough for the folks that visit these forums to hear).

At the same time, when those critiques are informed by negative "history" among people and thus more harshly delivered than may be necessary, things can spiral down a bit.

For what it's worth to doubleoh, who seems to get tangled up with other posters from time to time, I thought a lot of your critiques had merit and hope the Phase II folks read and give them consideration before ultimately doing what they think is appropriate in the filming of future episodes.
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Greg Schnitzer
Co-Executive Producer
Star Trek Phase II
http://www.startrekphase2.com
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3348883/

Last edited by GSchnitzer; January 18 2014 at 08:10 PM.
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