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Old January 12 2014, 06:39 AM   #14
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Re: Four Years War ST fan-fic

Okay, so now that you re-posted this with the paragraph breaks I got a chance to read all of it. A real trial by fire here for these fresh faced recruits with plenty of action to keep the tension up.

You tend to use more dialogue than prose in your writing which generally is a great style to keep a story flowing at a swift pace. But I have to admit that with all theses characters and so many very short segments I tended to lose track of which character was being featured initially. While it may slow your pace a bit, more scene setting in those situations may help to distinguish the characters a little more and also help the reader to get to know them better.
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