I've always enjoyed the atmosphere of the original series, if only because the world of TOS seems a lot less sterile than that of TNG and beyond. From its clunky technology to its ridiculous uniforms, the series gives viewers a real sense of character -- the sense that they're in a rough-and-tumble universe where discovery and danger are still meaningful terms.
So far, your story captures that feeling to a T. I enjoyed Wesley's wonder upon seeing the Constitution
-class docked in the station, for instance, as well as Cilla's consternation at being forced to fit into a minidress for the first time. It's those little things that make TOS what it is, and I'm glad you've chose to include those little homages to the original series in what looks like a good start to a story.
My only criticism at this point is relatively minor. To me, it doesn't seem to make much sense that Starfleet would permit one of its most promising captains -- commodores, even! -- to be relegated to a desk even if
he refused command of the Lex
. However, given how much influence this Komack seems to wield, that might not be too big a stretch.
Either way, however, it doesn't matter: Wesley's taken command of his new toy, and I'm looking forward to seeing where his adventures take him!