I feel embarressed causing all this debate but it must be a decades old book, maybe Gerrold's book but I haven't read Nicholls book or Solows.
I did read those Best of Trek books a long time ago too.
I think there was also a story in it about de Forest Kelley where a fan sent him a joint and said that she wanted to turn him on like he turned her on.
Funny the things you remember.
Its sad that I don't have those books now