The war was going badly, and the new recruit found himself dumped on the front lines right after "basic." The sergeant said, "Things are so bad, we don't have weapons for all of you. Just cock your fingers like a pistol and shout BANG! BANG! Now get your butts out there!"
Out on the field, the private was like a frightened rabbit. Then an enemy soldier came charging at him screaming like a berserker. After wasting a few precious seconds swallowing his heart, the private made pistol fingers and desperately cried out, "BANG!"
The enemy soldier dropped in his tracks!
The private had to try this again, and quickly dispatched another enemy grunt. Laughing like a maniac, the private charged down the field with growing confidence after every "shot."
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Suddenly, this huge guy came storming over a hill. The private fired at him, but his magic finger had run out. He quickly racked his finger to see if it was jammed, re-cocked his thumb and tried again, "BANG! BANG!"
Still no luck! The private was in a panic now. Did he need to reload?
As the enemy dreadnought trampled over him like a runaway truck, the private heard him grunting, "TANK! TANK! TANK!"