There is enough wiggle room that what looked like a Vulcan woman could just be a Vulcanoid woman. That's how I choose to interpret that situation too. But it was still clumsy of the writers.
I liked Vorik's pon farr story, I just hate the holodeck solution. It's such an easy fix that going forward solves any pon farr story. I also think there's supposed to be a telepathic component to pon farr, or else couldn't they just pon farr themselves? It's about more than release, and a holodeck simulation is just one big elaborate sex toy in that situation.