The Vulcan idea of not talking about pon farr always makes me chuckle, as everyone seems to know about it. It could very well be the worst kept secret in the Alpha Quadrant.
Whenever I work with Vulcans my standpoint is: all Vulcans, of all genders, of all orientations under go pon farr every seven years--however, that is just the mating drive to ensure the continuation of the species, outside of that they are capable of engaging in sexual relations (Saavik in TSFS shows that, unless Genesis was speeding up her cycles too).
That is a good question, and wondered if that was so. If they could have sexual relations even though they weren't going through pon far? Especially if they were married to a human or ther emotionally driven species.
Cause seriously, who in their right mind wants to have sex only once every seven years? lol