I think pon farr would still happen to a human raised non repressed Vulcan. I always thought it was biological. I assumed it was just an evolutionary difference, just like Romulans don't have the mental abilities. I think it's not really established firmly though and could go either way if anyone ever wanted to tell that story.
This makes me think that eventually nuSpock will go thru pon farr. I'm assuming he's ganging Uhura anyways, so it should be a non issue. Is there anything out there establishing that Spock and Uhura are having sex or not. For that matter, do we know if they bother to keep seperate quarters?
I didn't really care for the gay Vulcan not going thru pon farr either. It seemed like it was just a way for Selar's father to disaprove of his gay son's relationship without it being homophobic. He didn't care presumably what gender his son's partner was, just that he was having any kind of relationship without pon farr being a consideration. It was weird and awkward I thought, but it was also a very brief thing in the book. I was thrilled to see an actual gay Vulcan in the book, Selar was already at least non heteronormative with her relationship with a hermaphrodite alien.
IIRC T'Prynn who is a lesbian Vulcan in Vanguard does go thru pon farr, but that could be explained away that only gay male Vulcans don't go thru pon farr, so it doesn't have to be a continuity difference. I'd be willing to accept that it was just Selar's brother who was a medical oddity without a pon farr cycle if a gay Vulcan goes thru pon farr (somebody make that happen!). For what it's worth iirc, Selar's brother was a fairly relaxed Vulcan who was quite a bit less reserved than most Vulcans, which actually could lend weight to the theory about pon farr being a mostly emotional issue.