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Old November 14 2013, 05:27 AM   #50
Melakon's Avatar
Location: Unmarked grave
Re: It's my birthday, and I'll cry if I want to

I've never come close to considering suicide. My brother came close to it once, when his first wife left him, but he managed to get through it. Part of the problem I go through now is I have no close friends or relatives, and I've mostly lived alone since 1978. Significantly, this is the time of year when I always begin brooding about it. Holiday season is always difficult for me until after my birthday passes in January. The last time I attended a Christmas party was about 8 or 10 years ago and all the merriment and glad tidings had me in tears and I had to leave the room.

After a leg injury in 1990 that requires using a cane, and a stroke 10 years ago, there hasn't been much to be joyful about. There's disability money coming in as the sole income, but it doesn't leave much left for luxuries anymore, like going to a simple sit down restaurant for bacon and eggs. Though earlier this year, I did get the complete Enterprise series and was able to see all of it for the first time. Still, the alternative to birthdays is much worse.

At 62, at least I've still got my hair, it's mostly the original color, and there are no bald spots, so that's something. The only explanation I can come up with for that is it must be because I never had any kids.

Captain Ice, is that an Arizona Diamondbacks logo?
Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard: For duty and humanity! --Men in Black (1934)
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